Lessons Learned: The Extras
by mistyhaze420
Summary: Outtakes and such from Lessons Learned. I may do some more here from time to time, after the story is complete. E/J Slash, M
1. The Beginning

**This is the FGB auction winner for the LL outtake. Meikela won this baby and wanted to see the story of Edward's adoption, mainly the scene of Edward playing the piano for the first time. I hope I did it justice, girl! Thanks again for bidding on me!**

**Carlisle's POV**

"So, I hear you two are trying to adopt. That's wonderful news!"

I smiled across the table at my friend, "Yeah, Henry, we just started the process with the agency last week. My beautiful wife and I are very much looking forward to starting our family."

I wrapped my arm around Esme and gave her a little squeeze as she laughed softly, "Finally! I can't wait to hold our little baby in my arms. As you know, I come from quite a large family so I want lots of children some day. Then I can have lots if little grand children running around and…"

Henry laughed, "Sounds like she has it all planned out there, Carlisle."

I smiled over at my stunning wife, "Sounds like a good plan to me." She smiled back at me, her eyes so full of love that it simply took my breath away.

We chatted for a bit longer until Henry was eventually walking us out through the rec room, "Carlisle, Esme…it's been so good seeing you today. Thank you for taking the time to come have lunch with me, it's so difficult leaving here for lunch…you just never know when one of the children might need me."

"It's really no problem, Henry…we'll be sure to come back again soon, won't we, dear…" I turned to Esme but she wasn't standing there. I looked up and saw her slowly walking towards a small boy, staring out the window as if he were seeing the world outside for the very first time. His lips were barely moving as he hummed lazily, seemingly oblivious to everything around him except for whatever he gazed at from the windowsill.

He was a tiny little thing, so pale that I wondered if he _had _actually been outside before, his hair was all over the place as brilliant shades of red and bronze glimmered in the sunlight...but what I noticed first, was his eyes. Bright green eyes that reminded me of my father's eyes…unfortunately, I had inherited my mother's hazel ones.

Esme crept slowly, seemingly transfixed by the small boy. He eventually noticed that she was coming closer and quickly tightened the grip he had on his knees that were pulled closely to his chest. He began rocking back and forth so she abruptly stopped. She looked over at me as she took a deep breath.

I smiled because I knew by the look in her eye that if it were at all possible, this boy would be coming home with us. I nodded and she beamed brilliantly. She turned back to the boy who continued humming. I couldn't figure out where I had heard that tune before…

Then she began singing softly, "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff…"

The boy stopped rocking and peeked up at her. His eyes were wide, filled with fear and curiosity and longing…so many emotions brewing like a thunderstorm behind those eyes.

She kept singing very softly as she slowly got down on her knees and folded her hands in her lap. His head tilted slightly and his brows furrowed a bit as he studied her inquisitively.

She smiled and softly spoke, "I love that song…I used to sing it all the time when I was a little girl…I just love Winnie the Pooh…"

I barely heard him as he asked, "Why?"

She kept very still as she spoke up at him, "Well, I guess it's because I grew up with it. My mom used to read it to me all the time and I just adored Eeyore. He was always so gloomy…I just wanted to give him hugs all day long so he would feel better. Why do you like Winnie the Pooh?"

He looked back out the window and sighed, "Um…well…I guess it's because…in the story, the 100 Acre Woods is imaginary and Pooh and all his friends aren't real. Christopher Robin just has such an incredible imagination that he's able to have adventures with his toys that seemed intrinsically real to him. I always thought it would be nice to have an imagination that good. Not that I had any toys when I was a child but still…"

I heard Henry whisper, "I've never heard him speak that much before…"

I whispered, "He seems to be a very bright young boy…"

Henry nodded, "He is…"

The boy relaxed his arms around his legs and Esme smiled, "That's fascinating, dear…who is your favorite character?"

Now a slight pink blush covered his cheeks and a soft somewhat crooked smile came to his lips, "Um…Tigger…"

Esme laughed softly, "Well now, Tigger is quite a character…"

He nodded and blushed a little deeper, "Yes, he is…he's…funny and exciting and he thinks he's the coolest thing in the 100 Acre Woods…I think he's the coolest thing too…I wish I had his confidence…"

Esme brought her hand up over her heart and whispered, "Darling, you're the most amazing little boy I've ever seen…"

He, once again, tightened his grip around his legs and looked back out the window, "No…I'm…um…I'm n-not good…I'm bad…"

She shook her head, "No, sweetheart…you're an absolute angel…"

His head whipped up and he stared at her with such a curious expression, "Do you…um…do you believe in…um…angels?"

She nodded, "I do. Do you?"

His eyes tightened and he gazed back outside the window, "I used to…"

She looked back at me again with sad but hopeful eyes and once again, I simply nodded. She nodded back, our message clear with one simple look…we have to try and help this boy…

I started to walk over when I saw him pull himself close again, rocking and whispering.

I stopped as Henry held his arm out in front of me, "He's very afraid of men…"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a step back. Esme looked up at the boy, "It's okay, honey…he's my husband…his name is Carlisle. My name is Esme…you have nothing to be afraid of."

Henry took a step forward and the boy's eyes flashed to him, "Edward? It's me…Dr. Parker. You know that you're safe here…"

The boy's eyes whipped around the room as if he were following something that we couldn't see.

He shook his head and clamped his hands over his ears as his eyes squeezed shut. Esme's frantic eyes searched mine and I didn't know what to do…the sound of thunder rang in my ears as the building slightly shook from the lightening that crashed outside. Chicago weather was funny like that…it could be beautiful one second and storming the next.

The boy…Edward, stopped rocking and lowered his hands. His eyes opened wide as he stared out the window in awe. His hand slowly crept up until it was lying palm down on the glass window. Gently he rose onto his knees and pressed his other palm to the window as well. Then he closed his eyes and laid his cheek against the pane.

Henry walked slowly over to him, "Edward? Would you like to go outside?"

Edward's eyes flashed open and he nodded with more energy than I had seen from him before.

Henry smiled, "Nurse McClendon, can you please escort Edward outside in the court yard for a few minutes?"

The nurse nodded and smiled as Edward jumped up and quickly followed her.

Esme got up and walked over to us, "Henry, are you really letting him go outside during this storm?"

Henry nodded, "Yes, Esme…he's completely safe, I assure you…he really loves thunderstorms. It's one of the only things that can calm him down naturally…"

I spoke up now, "Do you know why he likes thunderstorms?"

Henry sighed, "Unfortunately, I don't…he won't tell me."

Esme grabbed my hand and looked up at me, "Honey…we're on the same page, right?"

I smiled down at my beautiful wife, "Yes, darling…same page."

She threw her arms around me and laughed, "I love you so much, Carlisle…"

I hugged her back and smiled, "I love you too, my sweet Esmeralda…"

"Henry, we want to adopt Edward…"

Henry furrowed his brows and took a deep breath, "Esme…Edward would require a lot of attention if he were adopted…so much attention that it might be difficult trying to raise multiple children in the household…he's also eight years old…I know that you said you wanted a baby…"

Esme shook her head, "I was wrong…he needs me…us, Henry…that beautiful little boy is so lost right now…we'll do whatever it takes…"

Henry gave a soft, somewhat forced, smile, "Go downstairs and talk with Dr. Morris…she's in charge of all adoptions here. Once you've inquired about him, let her know that I would like to go over his history with you and then I'll discuss his past and treatment with you before you make any decisions."

I nodded, "Thank you, Henry."

We raced down the stairs and Esme stopped when she saw Edward outside the doors…the nurse was standing off to the side of him holding an umbrella as he dropped to his knees in the thick mud and turned his face up to the sky. He smiled softly as his eyes shut.

I heard Esme's breathing catch and before I knew it, she was walking out the door.

I stayed back underneath the awning as she walked straight out into the storm, fearless.

Slowly she came to Edward and crouched down. His eyes opened and he looked at her with questioning eyes. She smiled, "Hello, sweetheart…I'm Esme, do you remember me?"

He nodded slowly and looked back at the nurse. She smiled, "Go ahead, Edward…just like we've practiced."

Little by little, his hand extended to Esme and he looked at the ground as he spoke, "Hello, ma'am…my n-name…is um…Edward M-masen…and um…it's a pleasure to meet you."

She took his small, wet hand in hers and gave it a small shake, "Edward Masen, it's a pleasure to meet you, as well. My name is Esme Cullen and that dashing young man standing over there under the awning, is my husband, Carlisle Cullen. Edward, we would like to adopt you…"

His brows furrowed, "Why?"

She smiled, "Because I think we need you and I think maybe you need us too. You see, it wasn't all that long ago that I was going through something pretty horrible and Carlisle helped me through it…he never gave up on me, even when people were telling him that he should…he always had faith in us and I have faith that we can help you…"

Edward looked over at me for just a second before dropping his gaze again. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Um…have you…um…do you know what's wrong with me, yet?"

Esme spoke softly, "We haven't spoken to the doctor yet, if that's what you mean…but I assure you, Edward, that it won't matter…we want you as our son…"

He shook his head, "No…I'm, um…once you speak with the doctor…um…you'll see that I'm not…there's something wrong with me…I'm b-broken…"

I wiped the wetness from my eyes as Esme smiled softly, "No, darling, you're not broken…Edward, I understand…I was damaged too but damaged things can be mended…even damaged hearts and souls. Will you consider becoming our son?"

He opened his eyes and just stared at her for a few minutes before sighing, "Talk to the doctor first…"

Esme nodded, "We will, honey…we're going to do that right now. We'll talk to you soon, Edward."

She stood up and walked back over to me when he called out softly, "Um, hey…Esme…what, um…what damaged you?"

She turned and smiled, "I promise I'll tell you about it when you get a little older, dear…now please consider going back inside before you catch pneumonia."

He smiled shyly and looked down with a soft nod.

She came back over to me, dripping wet as I pulled her close and whispered, "He's quite beautiful, isn't he?"

She nodded against my chest and whispered, "He's simply dazzling."

We quickly went to Dr. Morris and before we began the paperwork, she asked that we speak to Henry regarding Edward's condition first…stating that she had done this quite a few times before until the couples learned of his case and walked away.

I'll admit that I was curious to know what had happened to the child to cause people to walk away from him…but it was just a formality because I knew Esme and I were in this for the long haul.

Henry told us Edward's story…the little they knew anyway because I was sure there was much more locked away in his mind. He told us of the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father and the neglect of his mother…he told us of events that took place the night Edward's father murdered his mother and repeatedly abused him…he told us that Edward suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder and was almost completely socially dysfunctional.

He told us that Edward suffered from delusions and auditory hallucinations…that he saw demons and heard them taunting him…he didn't understand the origins of Edward's demons but gathered that it had something to do with the religious background his parents seemed to have had.

He said that the young boy was incredibly smart and sweet but he often didn't live in the real world…that he spent hours just staring out the window and trapped inside his own mind. Therapy hadn't been working because the boy simply wouldn't speak about his past so all they knew was what the crime investigation had uncovered.

Edward's chance of recovery was 50/50...he could either find a way out into the real world or he could regress so badly that he would go catatonic again, like he had been for months when they found him. He had been at the hospital for two years and was just now beginning to speak, mostly to Nurse McClendon but recently to him a little as well.

He was amazed that Esme had gotten him to speak so much, he was usually very skittish around strangers. He wasn't exactly discouraging us but he wanted to make sure we knew that adopting Edward would completely change our lives and test us in every way.

I smiled, "With all due respect, Henry…I think that having _any _child _should _change your life and test you in every way. We will do everything in our power to help Edward as if he were our own child because once the adoption is final, he will be."

The process took a couple of weeks and in that time, we visited Edward every day. I had to sit in a chair across the room but Esme had managed to procure a spot right next to his bed. She would talk mostly…just ramble while he watched her in fascination. She told him about her childhood and about her parents and brothers and sisters…he seemed completely intrigued.

The day that we took him home, was the closest I had been able to get to him and even then he tensed badly at my near proximity. The first few weeks, he wouldn't leave his room at all. So instead of eating at the kitchen table, we started having carpet picnics in his room. He seemed to enjoy them, although he was still leery of me. It broke my heart and I wondered if he would ever know me as his dad. My father was a wonderful man and I always hoped my son would look up to me as I had him.

Soon after, the nightmares began. We would wake in the middle of the night to screams and cries, only to find our little boy huddled in the bathtub with his pajamas on, soaking wet and shaking. It was those times when he was lost in his world again and it sometimes took hours to get him to come back to us.

Esme home schooled him the first year, although he didn't really need it…he was very bright for his age. He could read anything and comprehend it all. The first time we brought Chinese food home, we tried to teach him how to eat with chopsticks but neither of us could get it right. He turned the package over, read the instructions, and then ate his entire meal with them. He was simply captivating.

However, he was also very socially awkward and try as she might, Esme couldn't get the other parents she knew to keep weekly play dates with him. The other kids thought he was weird and didn't want to be around him. Edward was a very lonely little boy.

At nine years old, he started school for the very first time. He was nervous but intrigued by the notion of being around other kids…that's what he told Esme anyway but we understood that he was excited.

Until we got a call from the school that there had been an incident and Edward had been locked in a supply room closet for over three hours before the teacher realized that he had been missing. The school was very large and had many students per classroom and Edward had simply been overlooked. By the time they found him, he was rocking back and forth, softly whispering to himself while he clutched a pair of scissors tightly in his hand. He was covered in small cuts and scratches. He was catatonic for three days that time.

When we found that a few of the other boys had gotten together and locked him in the closet because they thought it would be funny, Esme nearly went to jail for assaulting their mothers. My darling wife was the sweetest, most loving woman you could ever know…but mess with someone she loves and then watch the Chicago girl come out in her quick. That was one of the reasons I fell in love with her…she lived in the real world. My world was made up of people I didn't like and money I didn't care about and rules that I didn't believe in. I chose her world where families cooked Christmas dinner together and would argue with one another only to end up in hysterics by the end of it…and where they stood up and supported each other no matter what.

After that fiasco, we put Edward in a small private school, figuring that smaller would be better…until he began coming home from school covered in bruises and black eyes. Once again we fought with the school who stated that this was occurring off school property while he walked home and there was nothing they could do.

Therapy still wasn't helping and he seemed to be regressing. Esme quit her job and stayed home with Edward full time. She would home school him and take him out to places like the park and the zoo to get him more acclimated to people. He was fascinated by the world around him and would spend hours just studying people, often telling his mom that he wished he could read their minds so that he could understand them.

Over the next year, he started calling Esme, mom. She was able to put her arms around him and hug him. He was beginning to talk to me some now but still not quite trusting. We could get him to come to the dinner table and even had family time where we would watch movies or play games. When he was around just us, he would do pretty good but when others were around, he simply shut down.

When he was ten years old, we decided to move to another town where no one had ever heard of the horrible things that happened to our son. I called my old college buddies, Adam and Jonathan, who settled down in Washington. Adam was a psychiatrist and knew of an opening for a Chief of Staff position at a small hospital in the town of Forks.

Esme and I researched it and thought it would be a perfect place to raise Edward…after all, it was one of the rainiest places in the U.S. and our son loved the rain.

We were having Christmas dinner at Esme's brother's house and then planned to move after the first of the year. Esme had gotten with a local realtor, Myra Newton, and found the perfect house. It had lots of windows and open spaces so that Edward would be able to see outside almost all the time.

I had my first breakthrough with Edward at that dinner. Esme and her sister, Carmella, had stepped out for a little bit to go and get some cold medicine for her younger niece who had begun sneezing and coughing earlier in the day.

We were on our second helpings and I enjoyed spending time with her family, they had welcomed me with open arms and treated me like one of them. We were laughing and talking when one of the kids knocked a plate to the floor. The crash got our attention as her brother jumped up to go and clean it up before one of the kids hurt themselves.

But Edward was already huddled underneath the table, rocking and whispering. I flashed Celia a look and she knew what I needed. She quickly but quietly ushered everyone out of the dining room while I crouched down beside the table and whispered softly, "Edward? Son, everything's okay…it was only an accident…please don't be afraid, son…"

He shook his head and I watched as his eyes darted around the room. I sat down on the floor and started humming Winnie the Pooh. After a few minutes, he closed his eyes and began to hum too. We sat there together for a good half hour when I heard his stomach growl. He hadn't been eating much. A moment later, Celia walked in with a plate full of fresh biscuits and a jar of honey. She handed them to me with a wink and slowly backed out of the dining room again.

I set the plate down and his eyes peeked open. I smiled, "When I was a little boy, we only had the most expensive honey, served in crystal glassware. I have found though, that this little plastic bear, holds the best tasting honey I've ever had. Would you like some, son?"

He nodded, so I scooted the plate over to him a bit. Very carefully, he took a biscuit and I handed the honey to him. He squeezed the honey onto his biscuit and took a bite. I swear he almost really smiled.

I smiled softly, "You see? Isn't that the best honey you've ever tasted?"

He nodded shyly, "Um…yes, sir."

We ate a biscuit and I looked over at him. His eyes met mine for a second before diverting back to the floor.

"You know what sounds really good, son?"

He shook his head and I smiled, "Milk. Would you like some?"

He nodded, "Um…chocolate? Please?"

Edward didn't care for chocolate much but he loved chocolate milk. I smiled, "Absolutely."

I scooted over and stood, a moment later he was crawling from underneath the table. I walked into the kitchen as he slowly followed. Once I pulled out the milk and the chocolate syrup, I looked down at him and smiled, "Have you ever heard of Mississippi Mud?"

He shook his head, "No, sir."

I wished like hell he would call me dad.

"Well, I had never heard of it either until your mom taught me how to make it. It's really very simple. Let me show you…first you pour the milk into the glass, making sure not to fill the glass…we have to leave room for the chocolate."

He looked at me curiously as I picked up the chocolate syrup, "The trick is to squeeze lots and lots of chocolate until the milk rises close to the top. Then stir…"

Once it was done, I smiled at him, "Would you like to try, son?"

He nodded, "Um…yes, sir but…um, I can't reach the counter."

He was still so small…

I crouched down so that I could be face to face with him, "I could pick you up and sit you on the counter, if you would trust me enough to do so?"

He furrowed his brows, dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose…he did this when he was warring with himself.

I whispered, "Edward…I would never hurt you…please tell me you know that…"

He dropped his hands and peeked his eyes open as he stared at me. A moment later, he whispered, "I know…but I…um…I'm still afraid…"

Not wanting to push him, I nodded and stood, "Let's do this…I'll go grab a chair and you can climb up here yourself and make your Mississippi Mud…"

I started to go when he shook his head, "No…I'm still afraid…but I don't want to be…"

He took a deep breath and raised his arms, "Um…please?"

I smiled and very gently lifted him up and onto the counter. He closed his eyes but once I let go, he opened them and smiled softly, "Thanks…um, can you hand me the milk?"

I smiled as I watched him make his chocolate milk. He was very serious about it and when he was finished, I raised my glass, "Cheers, son."

He raised his glass and clicked it with mine…I swear he almost laughed. We were standing there drinking our chocolate milk when Esme walked in. The look of shock and then happiness in her eyes as she saw us talking and being so close was priceless.

She joined us for a glass and soon after, Edward went into the other room to watch the other children play video games. They offered to let him play but he preferred to just watch.

The grown ups went back to eating and talking in the dining room. About an hour later, Carmella interrupted, "Do you hear that?"

Everyone quieted down and then I heard it, the soft plucking of piano keys. Celia turned, "I'll go check on it, none of the kids know how to play so maybe one of them is just playing around."

We started our conversations again when suddenly the sounds of Clair De Lune started playing softly.

We abruptly stopped and then Celia bounced back in the dining room, "Esme, Carlisle…you have to come see this! It's Edward!"

We jumped up and practically ran to the foyer. We stopped dead in our tracks at the sight before us. There sat our brilliant little boy, sitting on the piano bench and studying the song book in front of him intently. The song flowed smoothly except for when he needed to turn the page.

I whispered, "Darling, did you teach Edward how to play the piano?"

She shook her head, "I have no idea how to play the piano…"

Esme slowly walked over and he was so caught up in his music that he didn't even notice until she was sitting on the bench with him. He jumped and stammered, "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have touched the piano without permission…"

Esme smiled, "It's okay, Edward…you play beautifully. Would you play for me some more, please?"

He looked over at me and I nodded. He slowly made his way back to the bench and began playing again. Esme helped him turn the pages this time and he played the entire song almost perfectly.

When the song was finished, Esme was almost in tears as she gushed over him. He blushed and held his head down. While his head was down, his eyes closed and his fingers began moving over the keys once again. He played a hauntingly beautiful melody that I hadn't heard before.

I made my way over to the windowsill and sat down across from him as he played with his eyes closed. Esme looked at me, her eyes filled with awe and I'm sure mine looked the same to her.

After a few minutes, the song ended and his eyes opened. Esme smiled, "Edward? Where did you hear that before, son?"

He shrugged, "Um…nowhere…I just…made it up as I went."

She took his hand in hers, "Have you ever played the piano before?"

He shook his head, "Um…no, ma'am."

"How do play so well?"

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Well, um…I've read a few books about music and piano…how to read notes and stuff…and um…I don't know…when I was playing I didn't really…think much…I just…I can't explain it…I'm sorry…"

I beamed for my son. That's what people didn't seem to understand…they always acted like Edward was disabled but in reality, he was incredibly gifted. I hated the pity I would see in their eyes as they said, "Oh, I'm so sorry…" over and over again. They may have believed there children to be "normal" but my child was unique and brilliant…little did they know that I pitied them.

Some of the other children came into the room as they played hide and seek. Edward cleared his throat, "Um…I think I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Good night, son."

"Good night, sweetheart."

Once he was up the stairs, I smiled, "Do you think it's possible to have him a new piano at the house before we move in?"

We were to move into our house at Forks after the first of the year, so that gave me a couple of days. Esme laughed, "Anything's possible, dear."

And indeed, it was possible because when we walked into our new home, Edward dropped his backpack and gasped. He walked over slowly and ran his fingers across the wood, "Um…can I…um…play it?"

I smiled, "It's yours, son. I would love for you to play it."

The next week, he would venture outside of his room to come downstairs and play while Esme was cooking in the kitchen.

But then he started school. The first few weeks were horrible. He would come home every day with a new bruise or bloody lip. The school was useless as always, stating that since it didn't happen on school property…

Esme started driving him to and from school to avoid the bullying that he always endured. He stopped playing the piano altogether.

We eventually found out the names of the main boy who was starting the harassment, his name was Mike Newton, our realtor's son.

Esme paid her a visit and threatened her with severe bodily harm if Mike touched her child again. I called a meeting with his teacher and principal, and kindly let them know that if my son came home again with so much as a paper cut, I would hire the best lawyer that money could buy and sue the district for everything it had. They knew I had enough money to do it so the bullying pretty much stopped.

But, the problems didn't stop.

He became more and more distant…the nightmares became more frequent. So, I had the piano moved to his room. When he came home from school and saw that the living room was empty, his shoulders sagged and he huffed a little.

I followed behind as he dragged himself up the stairs and to his room. When he opened the door…he smiled softly for the first time in so long that I barely remembered the crooked little grin.

He dropped his backpack and walked over to it. I leaned against the doorway and smiled, "I missed hearing you play it so I thought maybe if I moved it in here…you'd allow me to sit with you while you play…"

He looked over at me and nodded as he turned back to the piano. He pulled out the bench and sat down. I walked over and began to sit down on the bed when he scooted over on his bench as he whispered, "Um…you can sit here…if you want?"

I sat down next to him and he closed his eyes and began playing. I closed my eyes too and just got lost in his music. He played for a long time and it surprised me when I heard the music stop.

I opened my eyes and looked over at him. His head was down and he whispered, "I'm invisible…"

I furrowed my brow in confusion, "What?"

He sniffled, "At school…I'm invisible. They pretend as if I just don't exist. I know I'm weird…but they won't even give me a chance to learn how to be like them…how to be normal…"

I shook my head and placed my hand on his, "Edward…listen to me, son…you don't have to be like them, in fact, you're better than them because you're not fake, you don't lie, and you don't judge people. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever known…if they don't want to know you then it's their loss, son."

He sighed, "Dad, I know it's been a long time but do you remember what it's like being in the fourth grade?"

I smiled…he just called me dad…and he made a joke…my brilliant son.

"Well, let's see…dinosaurs were roaming the earth and man had just invented the wheel so…very funny, son."

He smiled a little, "I just…wish I had just one friend…just someone to talk to, other than you and mom…no offense."

I smiled, "None taken. I know how hard this is for you, son, but I want you to know that I'm very proud of you. You're unbelievably strong. I wish I could just fix everything for you…I would give anything to take it all away but I can't. I have faith that one day you're going to have some wonderful friends who like you for who you are because once someone takes the time to notice how extraordinary you are, they couldn't help but love you."

He shrugged, "Maybe…um…thanks for the piano. I know I'm, um…difficult…I'm really sorry…I wish I could change it…but I can't. I'm trying though. Thank you for…um, being so patient with me. You're a really good dad."

He wrapped his arms around my neck and I relished the very first hug I had gotten from my son. I whispered, "You're a really good son."

We let go a minute later and he sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, "Um…I'm kind of tired, I think I'll take a nap."

I nodded, "Okay, son…we'll wake you when dinner's ready."

I was walking on cloud nine for awhile…but just like one of my patients once told me, life is like peaks and valleys and another valley was yet to come.

The summer was great, we spent a lot of time with Edward going swimming and hiking. He didn't have many problems that summer so things were good. He turned eleven and we started taking weekly trips to the a music store in Seattle where he would get new song books and CD's. He was still uncomfortable in public but at small places he seemed to do okay.

Fifth grade started and he began to back slide again. The nightmares came back in full force. We spent as much time with him as we could but he struggled so badly with school. He started spending a lot of time just staring out the window again.

Esme and I struggled as well. Edward would get better and then slip back and each and every time it happened, we were terrified that he might never come back to us.

Before his sixth grade year began, the school spoke with us about Edward's 'options.'

They thought that maybe a private school or a school that was 'better suited for his needs' would be a better option for him. It pissed me off because if everyone didn't keep reminding him that he had a problem, then maybe it would stop affecting him so much. Someone, other than his mom and me, needed to treat him like a normal kid.

So, I leaned forward in my chair and tried to remain calm as I addressed the principal, "Mrs. Kennedy, Edward is on the A-Honor roll, in fact, he's in all of the advanced classes. Does he give any of the teachers problems? Is he unruly?"

She tightened her mouth shut and shook her head. I smiled, "No, actually I believe all of his past teachers said he was the most well behaved and polite young boy they had in their class. So, please explain to me again, the rationality that your teachers and classrooms are not suited to educate a bright, respectable, good child?"

I won that round and they backed off of us that year.

Sixth grade was much like the year before. He had good moments and bad moments. One particularly bad moment was when he wasn't feeling well and was sent to the nurse's office. He hadn't been sleeping well from the nightmares and when he fell asleep there, he woke up with another one.

The nurse was shaken by the episode he had because when he awoke, he bolted out the door and out of the school to rainstorm outside. He fell to his knees in the grass and tried to get his panic attack under control.

Of course, all the children in the windows had seen it and it didn't make his situation at school any better.

So, the end of the school year came with another talk with the principal at the Junior High, where he would be going after the summer. He was turning thirteen and Esme and I were worried sick about him.

The summer was just beginning and I prayed every night that Edward would get just one good friend to help him through.

When Esme and I were talking about what the school had said, Edward said that he was going to the park. We were proud that he was brave enough to keep trying but also terrified that something could go bad.

It was like a double edge sword because we had to encourage him and let him do normal things on his own but at the same time, we knew the repercussions if things went bad.

I had to go to the hospital for a few hours and I called on my way home, to make sure Edward had made it back safe. She said he was home and she sounded very excited so I was hopeful that things had went well.

When I got home, she pulled me off into the kitchen and she glowed as she laughed, "He brought a friend home! A beautiful sweet little boy named Jasper! You should've seen him, honey…Jasper put his arm around Edward and he didn't flinch at all! And he was so charming and cute…"

I laughed as I held my giddy wife. I was giddy too.

I met Jasper at dinner and Esme was right, he was charming and sweet…but beneath those baby blue eyes, I could tell that this young boy was much older than his years. It was as if he had an old soul. Celia had said that once about Edward and I agreed. I saw the same thing in Jasper's eyes and hoped he would be the answers to my son's prayers.

The thunderstorm during the dinner seemed like just another little pull towards these two as Jasper's mother agreed to let him spend the night and Edward seemed happy too. He was still nervous, I could tell, but he smiled at dinner. A real smile, no shyness, no questioning…simply beautiful.

I was getting ready for bed when my darling wife entered the room in her robe and pajamas, carrying a candle.

"I peeked in to make sure they were okay and they were laying there talking about music they liked…this could change everything for him, Carlisle…this could be just what he needs…"

I walked around the bed and slid one arm around her waist as I gently took the candle from her and placed it on the nightstand.

I whispered as I took her ear lobe between my teeth and brushed the tip with my tongue, "Do you know what I need, my sweet Esmeralda?"

She undid her robe and purred, "The same thing I need…"

The old man, Peter, was right…life was like peaks and valleys and I prayed that we were nearing a peak…

At least I knew we'd be hitting a peak tonight…after all, they don't call me Big Daddy C for no reason…

**FYI- Two weeks ago we took my son out to a Chinese restaurant...we tried to teach him how to use chopsticks...we failed miserably. However, he simply read the instructions and then ate his entire meal with them...Brilliant;)**


	2. Brady's Dream

**This was originally an April Fools Day joke so enjoy Brady's vivid twisted dream! **

**The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove by Dead Can Dance...this song is on my favorites in my youtube, check it out, it exudes sex...**

**Brady's POV**

In the middle of the night, I lie on the couch in Edward's room, just admiring the beauty around me. The boys just all got back from Texas and Big Daddy C let us have a sleepover so I could catch up on all the happenings of their summer. It hasn't been that long but Edward and Jasper look different.

Jasper's skin has darkened considerably and his hair is even brighter with honey blonde highlights from the warm Texas sun. His strong arm is outstretched above his head while he sleeps on his back…Edward cuddled into his chest.

They are both so beautiful that sometimes it hurts to look at them…

Okay, so I may have stolen that line from Claire Danes but it didn't make it any less true.

The moonlight from the window reflected on Edward's pale skin, only making the crimson in his hair stand out more. His red lips quirk into a soft smile as he sleeps with an ear to Jasper's heart…

The thing about those two, was that they loved each other so deeply and with so much passion that you just couldn't help but want to bask in it, soaking up its warmth like rays from the sun.

They were the reason I hadn't gone all the way with Tommy. I mean, I liked Tommy a lot as a friend and he was incredibly attractive but he was always so damn moody. He was great to satisfy certain needs and he was a good friend but I wasn't in love with him.

I wanted someone to love me and someone to love as much as Jay and Eddie loved each other…as much as Em loved Rose…or how Carlisle loved Esme…and how Peter longed for Charlotte…

I wasn't sure how to feel on the subject of love before Jay brought me into his little circle of beautiful people. I still wasn't sure I belonged here, walking among them in all of my plain, adequate glory. But they excepted me with open arms.

That was why they all were so beautiful…it shined out of them from the inside because they all radiated love and beauty and strength…

So I just did my best to watch and learn so that when my love came along…I would be ready for it.

Of course, I planned on having a whole hell of a lot of fun until I found him.

A whole hell of a lot.

Just saying.

My eyes are drawn to Edward's lips as they press softly against Jasper's chest, slowly parting as his tongue slides out and curls around his nipple. I watch his emerald eyes flutter open as Jasper moans softly with pouty pink lips and eyes that are still closed.

And I know I shouldn't be watching as Jay's hands reach up and tangle in Edward's crazy sex hair, pushing his head down until it disappears underneath the blanket…but let's not be silly, of course, I'm going to watch.

Tommy had given me head a couple of times but I just had the feeling that Edward was probably fantastic at it…and Jasper, with those lips and that new tongue stud…

And the Chief is now standing at full attention at the sight of Edward's head moving beneath the blanket and Jasper's devious smirk, one hand beneath the blanket tangled in bronze hair while the other rests lazily behind his head.

My hand trails slowly down my stomach, until it grazes the outline of my cock through my shorts. I bite my lip to stifle a moan and at that exact moment, Jasper's eyes open.

Squeezing mine shut, I hope like hell he didn't see me. Barely breathing, I stay very still and try to will myself to sleep but the sounds that those beautiful boys are making is only making me harder and more desperate to watch…

Jasper's moaning his name breathlessly as Edward sucks on his dick like a delicious frozen popsicle…slurping and sucking and moaning…

Tommy has never made sounds like that…and fuck me if I didn't want to hear Edward sucking on my dick like a god damn cherry popsicle…

Peeking my eyes open, no longer able to resist the temptation, my heart stops and my dick jumps at the sight…

The cock blocking blanket has been haphazardly thrown aside and I can see everything…Jasper's sweats pulled down to his knees, his really impressive cock twitching and shooting long, thick ribbons of cum into Edward's open mouth, tongue lapping at the sticky mess on the head of Jay's cock, white pearly liquid on blood red lips…

Now I've watched a hell of a lot of porn at Uncle Billy's house and thought that I had seen some kinky stuff but seeing Jasper yank Edward up to his mouth, their tongues connecting with Jasper's sticky essence still on his tongue and lips…

Now that was something you didn't see every day.

I can barely contain myself as they moan and pant and drink each other in…what I wouldn't give to be in the middle of that kiss…

Still peeking through heavy eyes, I watch unashamed because…this is seriously the fucking hottest thing ever…

Briefly peeking down and seeing Emmett still asleep on the floor, I wonder if they even care what would happen if he woke up and caught them in the…

_Holy guacamole, it's Edward's cock…_

Edward had raised up on his knees, pushing his sleep pants down as he fisted Jasper's curls.

Jay smirked up at him and lazily lapped the head of his cock, running that tongue stud around the ridge and through the slit…

Edward smiled that sexy crooked smile of his and whispered, "You know how I like it, baby…now stop teasing me and suck my dick."

Pushing Jay's head down, he moaned as he took Edward all the way down…

Edward had obviously been right when he told me that Jasper was the king of deep throat because I had never seen someone suck cock as voraciously as he did…

I was tingling and twitching so bad that I just knew I was going to cum in my shorts if I kept watching…

But that was just a sacrifice I was going to have to make because there was no way humanly possible for my eyelids to shut now…not when Edward's pretty ass was clenching with every thrust down Jasper's eager throat, his curls bouncing wildly as he encouraged Edward to fuck his mouth.

By the time Edward's head falls back and Jasper's name falls from his lips as he cums deep down his throat…my whole body is shaking…trembling and too sensitive, my hand grazes my aching cock again and this time I can't stop the small moan that escapes my lips.

I squeeze my eyes shut again and can hear them whispering to each other, but I cant hear what they're saying over my shallow breathing and Emmett's soft snoring.

I wish I could crawl into a hole and die because I am beyond embarrassed right now. They totally caught me watching them.

But humiliation wasn't my biggest problem at this point…nope, my biggest problem was the stiffy that wouldn't die and skin covered in thousands of goose bumps as I willed the images in my head to just go away…

I mean, just for a little while, not for forever because that was definitely whacking material for use later on…

Those images would absolutely be stored in Brady's Dirty Spank Bank…

I wonder what it would be like to be in the middle of those beautiful sexy boys because let's face it…a threesome with Edward and Jasper is any gay boy's wet dream come true…

_Christ on a cracker, they're moaning again…_

_So, they know I'm watching and they're still going at it…_

_Edward was right, they are very dirty boys._

_And I just so happen to love dirty boys…_

So, I use Jay's adage on life and mumble, "Fuck it…" as I open my eyes to get a good look.

And the world has officially turned upside down as I see them…they're both on their knees in the middle of the bed…completely naked…hard cocks trapped between their stomachs as they kiss and hands seek out each others bodies, pulling them even closer…

There has never been anything more magnificent than this…

Except when their lidded eyes open and I'm met with brilliant blue and gorgeous green eyes…I'm stuck, frozen like a deer in the headlights and I know I must be dreaming as they watch me, watch them…like sirens beckoning their prey, they both draw out one finger and crook it at me with a slight nod of their heads…

I know it's absolutely crazy to even imagine that they want me but Jasper smiles, that wicked grin that I've always dreamed about as Edward can't contain his matching grin and the blush on his cheeks.

I don't even feel the carpet beneath my toes as I float across the floor and am standing in front of sin incarnate…

I start to open my mouth, curiosity killing me as they continue writhing against each other…but Jasper's finger presses against my lips with a soft, "Shhh…"

And I'm in heaven as each one grabs my hand, drawing me onto the bed with them. My heart is racing and my cock is throbbing as I'm being pushed on my back and Jasper crawls on top of me, holding my hands above my head and forcing me to stare into his baby blue eyes.

I don't want Edward to be mad at me though so I force my eyes away and over to green ones…but they are lidded as he runs his pink tongue across his red bottom lip and smiles, "It's okay, Brady…"

I'm going to have a heart attack, I just know it because my whole body feels like it's flying as Jasper crawls to the other side of me and both boys are gripping my shorts, sliding them down my legs.

As my cock bounces against my stomach, they grin wickedly and Edward whispers in Jasper's ear, "I knew he would be beautiful, Jay…don't you think he's beautiful?"

Jasper smiles as they both creep back up to where I lay, naked, hard, and trembling, "He's gorgeous, Eddie…we're gonna have a whole hell of a lot of fun with him tonight…"

Afraid to move, for fear that they would reconsider including me, I lay very still as they both lean over me and their lips reconnect just inches from mine.

But then hands are in my hair, pulling me closer until I gasp at the feeling of lips and tongue on mine…

They are sharing their kiss with me, including me in their love and I'm completely lost to the feeling of both of their mouths on mine.

Edward's lips were smooth and silky, tongue sweet and timid as he tastes mine…Jasper's lips were pillowy and forceful, tongue dripping dominance as he fists one hand into each of our hair, taking us both with that beautiful mouth of his.

And the contrasts of their hands on my body is driving me crazy…on my left side, Jasper's rough calloused fingers grip and knead my flesh as he explores my body…on my right side, Edward's satin fingertips are soft and loving as he tentatively runs them down my side…along my stomach…

I'm light headed and praying that the heart attack holds off until after they're done with me…

I'm seeing stars behind my eyelids and I have to open them…I have to see that this is real…

I gasp and break from the kiss when I see lidded blue and hazy green eyes staring back at me.

They both laugh softly and Edward blushes but their fingers don't stop trailing up and down my thighs, making my cock jump and quiver at their touch.

I lean back on my elbows, gasping for breath, as I finally manage to rasp out, "Not that I'm complaining because I'm _sooo _not…but um…what the hell is going on? This is crazy…"

That just causes them to giggle more as Jasper looks at Edward and smiles, "We're all a little crazy, Brady…"

Edward smiles back before looking at me with a sparkle in his gorgeous green eyes as he whispers, "I'm a lot crazy…but there's nothing crazy about this, Brady…we're young and neither of us has ever been with another boy…we both think you're beautiful and we both love you so there is no fault in seeking out pleasures of the flesh…"

I can't breathe…

My eyes are wide and my body is on fire as I whisper, "You love me?"

Jasper's sexy dimpled grin appears, "Of course we love you, Brady. It's a different kinda love than we feel for each other but don't doubt that we love you…and Edward's right…you're fuckin' hot…"

I can't contain my grin, "Really?"

They both laugh and Edward runs his finger down the center of my stomach, "You're gorgeous…smooth caramel skin…deep chocolate eyes…"

Then he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as he leans in and whispers, "I love the way your hair curls behind your ear…it will be perfect for grabbing when we fuck…"

And that's all I can take before just throwing caution to the wind because if these boys were going to allow me in their bed tonight…you bet your sweet ass I was going to make the most of it.

I locked my fingers in his thick bronze hair and pulled his lips to mine. He moaned into the kiss as he pushed his hard cock against my thigh.

My other hand sought out blonde curls until it was tangled in them, yanking Jasper to me as well. I broke the kiss and attacked Jay's mouth as Edward's lips, teeth, and tongue devoured my neck.

Jasper's hard cock was grinding against my other thigh and I couldn't think of anything other than grinding my aching cock against something.

I gasped as my eyes rolled back and my back arched, "Please touch me…please…"

And then they both wrapped a hand around my dick, twining their fingers and working in perfect unity as they squeezed from bottom to top…then used their thumbs to spread all the pre cum around, making it slick and wet.

Their mouths slowly worked down opposite sides of my body as their hands kept stroking me in flawless rhythm as I pushed up, seeking more.

I was writhing beneath them, trying hard to stay still but they were mind fucking me already so that wasn't easy.

Then I felt their breath hit the tip of my cock and I almost convulsed.

Jasper smiled up at me, my cock twitching shamelessly just inches between their lips, "Now ya better try and stay still, darlin, or we're gonna have to hand cuff you…"

I smirked at him as I raised my wrists above my head, "Is that a promise, cowboy?"

Edward smiled up at me and shook his head, "You really shouldn't have said that…"

Then Jay was laying across me as he reached into Edward's night stand and pulled out a pair of hand cuffs and some lube.

Straddling me, I moaned at the feel of his heavy cock lying against my stomach and my cock twitching against his ass…and then I felt the steel snap around wrists as he cuffed me to the head board.

Now he smirked down at me as he took his long, thick cock in his hand and held it above my lips, "You got a sassy mouth, boy…but are you really ready to hang with the big boys? Are you _really _ready for what we're about to do to you?"

I bucked up when I felt Edward's breath on my cock as he whispered softly, "Do you want us, Brady?"

"Yes! God yes! I want you! I'm so fucking ready…oh lord Jesus, please, Jasper…please Edward…please…"

I have no shame as I beg for them, and I'm rewarded when I feel Edward's warm, wet mouth sucking gently on the head of my cock.

And then Jasper's looking down at me with eyes the color of the ocean at midnight…dark blue and endlessly deep as he brushes the tip of his cock against my bottom lip.

I lap the head, eager for his taste on my tongue. He tastes salty and musky…all man. His hand wraps into the hair behind my neck as he pulls me closer, pushing his cock slowly down my throat. I try to keep my eyes open so I can see as his eyes roll back and a low moan escapes his throat…but Edward makes mine roll back as he slowly starts moving his mouth up and down, twisting it around slowly as his tongue dances across the sensitive skin…

I have never felt anything as wet and as hot as Edward's mouth…Jasper may have been the king of deep throat but Edward was the mother fucking messiah of erotic blow jobs…

My eyes open once again, half lidded and hazy as they look up at the beautiful blonde boy who is so slowly fucking my mouth. His curls are everywhere and the look in his eyes is feral…

Jasper is a beast…gorgeous, strong, dominate…everything about him screamed 'man' and I just couldn't get enough.

I whimper when he pulls out of my mouth and smiles, "Just a taste for now, baby…besides, I want Eddie to feel that hot little mouth of yours…"

I groan and buck into Edward's wonderful mouth. He releases my dick with a 'pop' and smiles, "He tastes as good as he looks, Jay."

Jasper begins to move down my body as Edward moves up. They meet in the middle for a soft kiss and I watch and wait because I love watching them kiss.

Now Edward is straddling me, holding his thick cock above my lips as he whispers, "Want a taste?'

I nod and beg, "Yes…please, Edward…please let me taste you, baby…"

The tip of his cock pushes between my lips as I run my tongue through the slit, moaning in pleasure at his sweet taste.

Jasper's mouth wrapped around my cock causing me to moan around Edward's as he took me all the way down his throat in one deep motion.

I thrust up and pull against the cuffs, wishing I could grab onto him. As if he could read my mind, he reached over and grabbed the key.

Quickly unlocking the cuffs, he slipped them off of me and tossed them aside as he whispered, "Touch me, Brady."

My hands immediately went to his ass, drawing him deeper down my mouth. Then one hand slid down until it tangled in soft curls, making Jasper moan around my cock as I pushed his head down.

Edward's cock fell from my lips as I writhed and grunted, "Suck it, Jay…_fuck_…just like that, baby…"

I looked up at Edward and, feeling rather cocky, I smiled, "Hey baby? Why don't you get down there and help your boyfriend suck my dick?"

He laughed as he smacked my chest, "You cocky little shit…"

I just pinched his side, making him giggle as I smiled, "You tell me everything, Edward…I know what you like…"

He giggled as he crawled down my body and Jasper smiled at him. With Jay on one side and Edward on the other, they looked at each a moment before moving in and taking each other's lips in a sensual, slow kiss…only this time, the head of my cock was in the middle.

I tangled a hand in each of their hair, thick bronze in one hand, soft curls in the other, encouraging them as they drove me insane with their beautiful mouths.

I heard the lube pop open and managed to stay focused enough to see Jay wetting his fingers.

Breaking from the kiss, he looked up at me and whispered, "Who do you want, Brady?"

Like that was a decision I could make. I answered truthfully, "I want you both."

He smiled at Edward and whispered, "What do you want, baby boy? You wanna top or bottom?"

I'll be damned if the boy didn't blush as my cock still twitched against his lips, "Um…bottom."

A grin the size of Texas broke out on Jasper's face, "Okay, Eddie…get on top of him and I'll get you boys ready…"

I was trembling in anticipation as Edward crawled on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him as his body pressed against mine, his chest heaving as badly as mine was.

I whispered as I pushed the hair off his forehead, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

A beautiful crooked grin lit up his face, "Yes, I'm sure. Are you sure?"

That made me laugh, "I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life."

He was still smiling as he kissed me and whispered, "Jay will take care of us."

And I knew that he would.

As Edward rolled his hard cock into mine and kissed me senseless, Jasper's fingers had began stretching us out, causing us to both moan and grind harder against each other.

And then I felt it…Jasper's hand wrapped around my cock and positioned it at Edward's ass. Edward and I held onto each other tightly as he started to push down against me.

Jasper's fingers were still working inside of me as Edward slowly sank down on my cock.

My eyes rolled back as I broke from the kiss and moaned, "Oh God, Edward…you feel so damn good…so tight…so fucking hot…oh God, baby…"

The world was spinning as Edward sat up, sinking all the way down on my cock, and he began rolling his hips…riding me slow and deep as I just held onto his hips, marveling at the beautiful boy above me, bringing me more ecstasy than I had ever known…

But then I felt Jay's hands clench my thighs, as the head of his cock brushed my entrance. He brought one hand into Edward's hair and pulled him back, kissing his lips as he slowly pushed into me.

There was no pain, only infinite pleasure.

Jasper's cock filled me while Edward's body surrounded me, and there could never be anything better than this.

They kissed as Edward rode me slow and Jasper fucked me deep, the boys bodies moving in a rhythm together, perfectly in sync, like they always had been.

Jay brought a hand around and began pumping Edward's cock.

But then I heard a grunt and Emmett's gruff voice, "Fuck…you guys just gonna leave me out?"

I gasp as I look over and see him looking up at us from his bed on the floor. His bare chest is chiseled and gorgeous as he pulls the blanket back and I see the major woody he has in his shorts.

My mind is trying to wrap around what he just said but I'm almost incoherent at this point.

But I see Jasper smile and Edward laugh as he crooks out a finger at Em, "Come, Emmett…I'm sure we can make room for you…"

Em stands with a huge grin and an equally huge boner, not thinking twice about it as he strips off his shorts.

He has a glorious body…strong and big like a grizzly bear…and his cock is a thing of beauty…heavy and thick as it juts out from his body.

He crawls on the bed and I'm surprised as he reaches out for Edward, taking him in his hand and helping Jay pump his straining cock.

Then he leans down to me and whispers, "Don't forget, I was your first kiss and you're _my _little dude…"

And then he's kissing me, but with tongue this time and he's a fabulous kisser…all those times I had imagined this kiss didn't live up to the real thing.

I reach out and stroke his cock as I kiss him with everything I have.

I can feel Edward clench around my body as he calls out, "Brady…Emmett…oh God, Jay…"

His cum paints my chest as Emmett and Jasper milk his cock.

And my whole body just explodes as I moan into Emmett's mouth and cum deep inside of Edward.

I feel Jasper's fingers clench my thighs as he cries out a string of cuss words and spills inside of me.

We're all panting, and sweating…Edward collapses on me as he giggles softly into my neck and whispers, "We definitely need to have more sleepovers…"

That causes me to giggle…and moments later, he's snoring on my chest.

Jay just laughs as he pulls out and whispers, "Just roll him off to the side, he'll be out awhile."

So, I cradle him and gently roll him over, lying his head on the pillow and kissing his lips one more time before turning back to Em, "Do you still want help with your problem?"

_Yeah, I wasn't anywhere near done with these boys yet…too bad Big Daddy C can't join in because man, he is fucking hot…_

I grasp his cock once again as his head falls and he moans while pushing into my hand, "Yes…God, yes, Brady…"

I smirk as I look up into his electric blue eyes, "What about Rose?"

He just shrugs, "Eh, Rose thinks this shit is hot so I doubt she'd care…"

Jay smiles as he pulls Em into a kiss and mumbles, "She's got that shit right…"

And I stand on my knees to join in the kiss when suddenly the door opens and…

_Oh my God! Big Daddy C!_

We all stop, frozen as he leans against the doorway and smirks, "You really should try to be more quiet…you might wake up, Esme…and we wouldn't want that now would we…"

And he starts to strip off his shirt as he saunters to the bed…and I am soooo ready to play doctor…

But then I feel shaking and hear my name being whispered, "Brady? Brady wake up…"

_Ugh! It was a stupid dream! A beautiful, erotic, amazing dream!_

My eyes slowly part and are met with brilliant green ones, "Hey, um…sorry for waking you up but you were being kind of…um…loud."

His cheeks are bright red as I glance warily around his bedroom. Emmett is still asleep on the floor and Jasper is asleep on the bed. Edward is kneeling in front of me on the couch.

I gasp as embarrassment floods through me, "Oh my god, Edward…I wasn't…it was just…"

He blushes even harder and smiles, "It's okay, Brady…I, um…thought you might need these…"

He hands me a pair of sweats and I could die as I feel the sticky cold wetness in my shorts.

I am officially mortified.

But then he leans in and whispers, "Don't be embarrassed, I've had crazy dreams before too. It was flattering when you called out my name…kind of hot when you called out Jasper's name…sort of strange but still kind of hot when you said Emmett's name…but when you said my dad's name I had to wake you up…sorry, it was just too creepy…"

He giggled and I couldn't help but laugh as my cheeks burned, "I'm sorry, Edward. This isn't, like, going to make things all weird between us, is it?"

He just smiles, "No, things are fine between us. If I were willing to share, I would share with you because you're beautiful and I love you…just not in that way."

I couldn't help but grin at his words and pull him into a hug, "I love you too, Edward. You and Jay and Em are my best friends in the whole world…I just can't help it…you're all so god damn beautiful…"

He pulls away and my breath hitches as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, "You're beautiful too, Brady…in fact, you're absolutely gorgeous but I could never, um…"

He blushes again deeply and I smile, "The truth is, I could never be with you or Jay because you belong with each other and it would be wrong for anyone to try and come between you two…but now, Emmett or Carlisle…"

I grin and raise my eyebrows and he smacks my chest with a giggle, "Gross…that's my dad…now Emmett maybe…"

He trails off and we both end up in a fit of giggles.

Still embarrassed, I take the sweats from him and pull back the blanket to go to the bathroom. Half way there, I stop and turn as he watches me and I raise an eyebrow, "So, Eddie…have you ever had a dream about, um…"

He laughs, "You? Um…yes…and Emmett…you're both so beautiful it's hard to not think about it…"

Laughing, I saunter to the bathroom to change, knowing that he's watching my ass as I walk away.

Before long, I'm back on the couch and all the boys are sleeping and I eventually drift off again, hoping like hell that Big Daddy C will come back for an appearance because it may be weird for Edward, but Carlisle is one sexy man I wouldn't mind seeing more of…in my dreams anyway…

**So…what do you think? By the way…Happy April Fools Day! Did I have you going? You can thank my girl, Maria for this one cuz it was totally her idea…I know I wouldn't mind being stuck in the middle of an Em, Jay, Ed, Brady, Big Daddy C sandwich…the only thing that would've made it better was if Jeremiah was there to join in…maybe an outtake sometime…anyway, the real next chapter of LL should be up in a few weeks. I love you guys…you're all so beautiful…happy dreaming! **


	3. Jeremiah's Musings on Life and Shit

**Okay, this is for my girl, roxymar, who wanted to see Jeremiah's POV about finding out that Jasper was gay when he used to scream out for Eddie in his sleep in Texas…I hope you guys like the little detour into this boy's crazy mind…**

**Let me know anything else you wanna see…I've gotten some great requests so far and I'm gonna do my best to write them all.**

**Also, Jeremiah means no offense in his musings, so please don't take any offense to them.**

**How To Love by Lil Wayne**

**Jeremiah's POV**

There are a few things that most folks will never know about me…the first, my favorite movie of all time is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs…

Now I know what ya'll are thinkin'…that's some pretty fucked up shit for a fucker as fine as me to dig on some sappy kid flick, but let me explain…

The first time I ever smoked pot, I was twelve years old. My cousin Brandon, had stayed the night with us after his mama kicked him out and the sounds of him coughing from the floor next to my bed woke me up…

"_Brandon, let me hit it…"_

_He just took a drawl from the joint and chuckled, "Fuck no, man…"_

_I huffed as I threw back the blanket and went to the window, pulling out a square, I sighed, "Mama's gonna smell that shit and be pissed…"_

_He shrugged, "She's gone already, left for work 'bout half an hour ago…said for you to keep an eye on Suzie…"_

_Rolling my eyes, I grumbled, "Whatever, I always keep an eye on Suzie…and how come you can smoke but I can't…"_

_Groaning as he got up off the floor and sat on my bed, he started pulling his shoes on, "Dude, I'm older than you…"_

"_Only three years…"_

"_Jeremiah, I know you…you can't do nothin' half way…I let you take a toke and you'll be a full on pothead 'fore you're 13...I mean, it might actually help you cuz you're all hyperactive and shit but…it ain't right…besides, man…I'm only smokin' right now to settle my nerves…I gotta figure out where I'm gonna stay…"_

"_Well, you're gonna stay here, duh…"_

_Shaking his head, he laid back on the bed and ran his fingers through his shaggy, dirty blonde hair, "No, Cuz…your mama said I can't stay…"_

_I flicked my cigarette into the yard and looked at him like he was crazy, "What the hell are you talkin' about? You ain't got nowhere else to go…"_

_He just sighed, "She can't take care of me, man…she can barely afford you and Suzie…"_

_Well that just pissed me off, "Well, what about Uncle Wayne? He's got an extra room…"_

_That caused him to laugh humorlessly and look at me with a raised eyebrow, "Dude, he don't even take care of his own kid…you think he's gonna take care of me?"_

_I sat down on the floor across from him and looked up, "What're you gonna do, B?"_

_He sighed and looked down at the floor, "Fuck, man…I dunno…I could probably stay with that Elsa chick…"_

"_Thought you didn't like her…"_

_Flopping back down on the bed, he laughed quietly before taking a big breath and letting it all out, "I don't…but she's got her own place and I know she'd let me stay…God, I'd have to fuck her though…"_

_I shrugged, "What's so bad about that? I've been tryin' to get Candace to let me hit it for like…weeks…"_

_Groaning, he sat back up and looked down at me, shaking his head, "Quit tryin' to grow up so god damn fast, Jeremiah…I know you see all us out here actin' like fuckin' animals but you ain't gotta be so damn quick to join us…be a fuckin' kid…"_

_That pissed me off again, "Fuck you, B! I ain't no god damn kid! You know as good as I do that the Whitlock boys came out of the fuckin' wombs as fucked up little bastards…"_

_He stood and it was then that I remembered why I always looked up to him…Brandon was a big boy. Out of all of us, he was by far the bulk of the group. And he rarely got mad cuz he__ was the quiet one but he was also the scariest when he did._

"_Dude, calm the fuck down! That's your fuckin' problem, J…you don't fuckin' listen…always runnin' your god damn mouth! You know I'm not gonna always be around to save your ass when you start talkin' smack to mother fuckers like you're a god damn man! You still got another year or two till you hit your mother fuckin' growth spurt! I just don't want you to do the shit that I do cuz the truth is, I don't know what the fuck I'm doin'…"_

_His rant died down as he suddenly went quiet again and plopped down on the floor with his back against the bed and his head in his hands._

"_Shit, man…sorry for yellin' at you…I'm just fuckin' stressed out right now, it ain't your fault…"_

_I sighed as I looked at him, "What happened, B? Did your mama catch in you in bed with some chick or somethin'?"_

_He shook his head and sniffled, "No, she didn't catch me in bed with a chick, J…"_

"_Then what happened?"_

_Raising his tired blue eyes to mine, he spoke quietly, "I don't wanna talk about it…"_

_I was about to push him again cuz he always told me everything so I figured it must've been something pretty bad but Suzie came bouncin' in the room, "Bubby, wanna watch Snow White with me? Oh hey, Brandon! You can watch too! Please! I'm tired of bein' alone all the time…"_

_And then guilt hit me cuz I hated that she was alone all the time but mama was always gone, workin' or some shit, and all she really had was me...and ever since I started hangin' out with the guys, I had been laxing on my brotherly duties._

"_Sure, baby girl…go turn it on and I'll be there in a minute…"_

_She squealed as she ran to go put the movie in and I sighed, "Look, dude…mama's gonna be gone awhile so why don't you just stick around till later on…I'll make breakfast or some shit…I mean, you'll have to sit through a couple Disney flicks but…c'mon, man…don't leave yet…"_

_His shoulders rose as he drew in a big breath and let it all out. Then he looked up at me and half-smiled, "Alright, man, but if we're gonna watch cartoons, we're gonna get high…"_

_Handing me the joint, I felt cool as hell as I took my first toke._

_All too soon, we were both ripped. He grinned at me for the first time since he'd been there, "Now that you're not all high strung and shit…I want you to quit worryin' so much about everyone else…I want you to go in there and hang with Suzie and just enjoy shit today, okay?"_

_I grinned right back as I felt all the stress melt away._

_That was the first time I just let loose in the kitchen and made us breakfast…it sucked cuz I burnt the bacon cuz I spaced out for a little while but I kinda liked cookin' for everyone._

_And then we all sat and watched Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs…I remember thinkin' that Snow White was pretty fly…all petite and porcelain skin and short jet black hair…yeah, that princess was bangin'._

_And I thought the dwarfs were dope as shit…I mean, they were all a bunch of little messed up freaky dudes with issues so deep that they were named for them… but they worked together like a little family and shit…and they were so god damn happy that the little bastards whistled while they worked…_

_That's pimp shit._

_And I'll never forget how Brandon turned to me when Beauty and the Beast was over and sighed, "That was the sweetest movie I've ever seen…"_

_I just rolled my eyes and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess…stoned mother fucker…"_

_But I already knew that besides bein' a bunch of fucked up little bastards…the Whitlock boys were all suckers for a good love story._

So that's why I loved that movie so much and when I first moved to Forks, that's kinda how I envisioned Jay and all his friends…

Carlisle = Doc

Esme = Happy

Tommy = Grumpy

Edward = Bashful

Brady = Sneezy (Bad allergies)

Peter = Sleepy

So I guess that makes me Dopey…or the little fucked up dude formerly known as Dopey cuz I don't do that shit no more…

_Down with dope, up with hope…_

_Fuck…I've been sober a long god damn time…anyways…_

That would make sweet Alice my Snow White…she'd look fine as hell in a tight little princess costume sinkin' her teeth into a juicy red apple, lil' bit of that sweet juice trailin' down her chin so that I could use my tongue to…

_Shit, I'm gettin' way off topic…_

Anyway, another thing that most people don't know about me, is that I'm scared of heights cuz when I was nine years old my cousins Ethan and Caleb, talked me into jumpin' off the roof onto an old mattress that was outside the back window. Well, I reckon they didn't really talk me into it…but they called me a pussy and where I come from, you don't back down from that shit.

So I climbed out the little attic window onto the roof and jumped…I swear I tried to tuck and roll but I landed face first, dislocated my shoulder and broke my leg. But I guess, all things considered, I pretty lucky.

Anyway, no grown ups were home at the time but that was pretty typical. All of our mama's were always either workin' or partyin', leavin' us kids to fend for ourselves. And none of us had any daddies to speak of. But we didn't think much of it cuz that's just how shit was in our family…so we stuck together.

Brandon was the one who saved me…well, maybe not really saved me but still it hurt like a son of a bitch…

That's why I always looked up to him. He yelled at Caleb and Ethan for puttin' me up to it and makin' fun of me for cryin'…yes, I'm man enough to admit that I cried…like I said, that shit hurt.

So, he picked me up and put me in a car parked out on the street before grabbin' a screwdriver and crackin' that mother fucker right there…

Yes, my 12 year old cousin stole a car and drove me to the hospital.

I was okay once the Doc got done bandaging me up but Brandon got six months in Juvie. I felt like shit about it but he always just said that we gotta look out for each other cuz if we don't, who will?

So back on topic…bein' an electrician, kinda sucks cuz so many of the jobs are high up as hell…but I'm grateful as fuck to Carlisle for gettin' me in the program cuz even if I spend half my day in unbridled fear…I make a decent paycheck and can take care of my baby boy.

And one last thing that only one other person knows about me…when I first started hearin' Jay talk in his sleep 'bout another dude…that shit freaked me the fuck out.

Now 'fore you start judgin' me, give me a minute to explain cuz I think I make a pretty good case…

In the town I grew up in, there was only ever one openly gay guy…he was a couple years older than me and when I was 14, he got beat up so bad that he ended up in the hospital for like months and when he finally got released, he hung himself from a light pole right above the old railroad tracks for everybody to see…

It was a tragic fuckin' story and I remember feelin' really bad about it cuz I had seen the boy around before and he seemed like an alright dude…a little girly but not a bad guy.

But everyone in our neighborhood seemed to think it was a good thing. I remember them talkin' bout how he got what he deserved and that those poor boys shouldn't have been given ten years in prison for the brutal beating…that the judicial system was unfair in convicting them.

At 14, it confused me cuz I always thought that we should treat people right unless they were fuckin' with us…I mean, most people in that town treated all of us like shit so I kinda felt like that boy didn't do nothin' wrong at all…like everyone just turned against him the same way they did us, cuz he was different.

But I also knew that the worst thing to be called in my hood was a fag.

Brandon was in Juvie at the time, again, this time he got busted selling pot, so I couldn't really talk to him about it cuz he's usually who I went to when shit didn't make sense to me…he always had a way of sayin' shit so I understood.

Hell, and then only a few months later when he got released, he got sent to prison after a fucked up night of stealin' cars but after he got outta Juvie, he just didn't seem to give a shit 'bout nothin' no more…

I had been real worried about him but what could I do.

Now let me just say that I've always been the mother fucker that goes against the grain. I just feel like life is fucked up and shit but it's all we got, so fuck what everybody else thinks…I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

Just like Skittles…I wanted to taste the mother fuckin' rainbow in life…

So, even though it pissed people off, on the times when me and Candace were off again…I did just that…

Now I'm not talkin' 'bout dudes cuz I know that's what all of ya'll pervy fuckers are thinkin' right now…uh uh…I'm talkin' bout women…

I really hope ya'll don't take offense to my next statement cuz, really, I don't mean no harm but Lord knows I only know one way of speakin' and that's blunt and to the point…

I've dated black chicks, white chicks, Hispanic chicks, Asian chicks, a Turkish chick, and every mix in between…

I've fucked tall girls, short girls, skinny girls, big girls…

I don't discriminate, I love 'em all…and to lay it out straight to you…it pissed a lot of people off.

From what I see now, interracial dating is kinda accepted most places but in my little fucked up redneck town, it was downright scandalous.

And that shit was fine by me…but honestly, I never even really thought about gay dudes and how I felt about that shit cuz it wasn't a part of my life.

But that shit changed the first night I heard Jay cryin' in his sleep.

We were at a party on a Friday night and the boy was hammered outta his mind. We had all been drinkin' and smokin' and whoopin' up on some dumb pricks who called us trash and I gotta say…I was impressed by my little Cuz's skills…

The boy could deliver a beat down like any good Texas boy should and I was kinda proud that he could hang.

He had changed a whole lot since the last time I seen him cuz it had been a few years…he was damn near as tall as I was and even if he wasn't too big, he was still all muscled up. But the main change was that the fucker was quiet as shit now…he used to talk a hundred miles a minute, kinda like me, but now he was always the quiet one.

It reminded me of Brandon and made me kinda worry that he might be goin' down the same path.

I helped him stumble his way to my house and let him crash on the floor. He was passed out before he even hit the pillow and I wasn't too far behind him.

"_No…leave 'm alone…"_

_I groaned as I turned over and mumbled, "Shut the fuck up, Jay…you're fuckin' up my beauty sleep…not that I need it…"_

_Chuckling to myself, still half asleep, a sob coming from the floor finally woke me up. I looked over the side of my bed and whispered, "Hey, man, you okay?"_

_His face was down on the pillow but his shoulders were shaking as he mumbled over and over again, "I wanna go home…"_

_I'm not gonna lie…that shit kinda broke my heart._

_From what I had heard, he had been doin' real good in Washington, he was stayin' with a nice family and doin' good at school…it was bullshit of Uncle Wayne to make him stay down here._

_I knew he had missed him, in his own way, but it was just selfish to tear the boy away from a good life for this fuckin' hell hole…_

_But all I could do was try my best to look out for him. So I gently shook his shoulder and whispered, "Wake up, Cuz…"_

_He groaned and rolled over on his back and I could see tears streaming from his closed eyes as he just mumbled all sorts of crazy shit…_

"_Exodus 23:20..."_

"_So sorry, baby…"_

"_Wanna go home…"_

"_Want you…need you…love you…fuckin' miss you…"_

"_I'll kick his fuckin' ass…don't fuckin' touch him…"_

"_He's mine…my baby boy…"_

_Now that made me sit upright as I stared at my little Cuz cryin' and hollerin' out in his sleep. _

_Is he dreamin' bout another dude?_

"_Ed…please don't fuckin' leave me…need you so bad…"_

_Ed? That could stand for Edna…or Edwina…right?_

"_You're my boy, Eddie…fuckin' mine…"_

_Okay, maybe not. Yup, definitely dreamin' bout another dude._

_Jasper's takin' a ride on the rainbow express?_

_No way, ain't no fuckin' way my little Cuz is gay…although, he has been turnin' down pussy left and right here…maybe he is gay…_

"_Wanna kiss you, Edward…please baby boy…goin' fuckin' crazy without you…don't wanna be alone again…"_

_Okay, yup, definitely gay._

_Holy shit my cousin is gay._

_Gay._

_What the fuck?_

_But I didn't even have time to try and process any of this shit before he cried out and his hands started clawing at the floor like he was tryin' to find something…_

_My first instinct was to help him so before I even knew what I was doin', I reached out and grabbed his hand whispering, "Shh…calm down, Jay…s'alright, man…you ain't alone, little Cuz, I got you…"_

_I ain't gonna lie, the fucker held onto my hand so tight that that shit hurt but it seemed to help him a little as he started quieting down and fell back into a restful sleep._

_It was a complete mindfuck but I don't like to see my family hurtin so I just let him hold my hand until he fell back asleep. _

_And when the mornin' came, he looked like refried shit…but I felt really bad for him._

_It was Saturday mornin' and I always visited Brandon on Saturdays since I turned eighteen. He was the one guy I knew I could tell and trust that he wouldn't say anything. He always gave me shit about goin' to him for advice cuz he had fucked up so bad but for a long time, him and Suzie was really all I had. I hung with Ethan and Caleb a lot but it was cuz I was tryin' to steer them crazy bastards in the right direction but they wouldn't listen to fuck all advice I tried to give them. _

_It probably didn't help that I was givin' them advice while gettin' high with them but I don't know, that shit always worked with Brandon and me. _

_And since he got locked up, I ain't ashamed to admit that I was kinda lonely and Jay showin' up here and actually seemin' like a real good dude, was cool for me. It was obvious that he was hurtin' real bad and I didn't wanna make it worse._

_Believe it or not, I really did love Candi, in my own way, I guess, and it hurt every time she left me. I mean, we had been friends since we was little and started datin' fore we were even teenagers…she dumped me a lot of times through the years but this last time, that's the only time I ever broke it off with her. _

_And she was livin' with another guy 'fore I even came to Washington…ain't that about a bitch…_

_Fuck, I'm goin' off topic again…_

_So anyway, I knew what it felt like to have a broken heart and I could see it in Jay as plain as day…that fucker was heartbroken._

_I didn't wanna make shit worse for him by fuckin' shit up cuz as Uncle Wayne always says, 'Never go into anythin' without a plan of attack…'_

_So after he went back to his daddy's house to take a shower, I went to go see Brandon. _

_The truth was, it was a good thing for me to go and visit him cuz every time I drove into that prison parking lot and saw the stone walls and the guards in the towers, I was reminded to keep my shit on the straight and narrow…as best as I could anyway._

_I had been through these metal detectors and knew the fuckin' guards that patted me down before I went in by name._

"_Sup, Andre…"_

_He nodded as he laughed, "You stayin' outta trouble, Whitlock?"_

_It was kinda weird talkin to another dude while he frisked me but it didn't freak me out or any shit like that…_

_So maybe I could deal with this gay stuff…_

_Wow, that was a really dumb thought…and I didn't even get high this mornin'…_

_Then he hit a ticklish spot on the back of my calf and I laughed, "Yeah, fucker, you done yet? You know I'm ticklish right there…"_

_He raised up and rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, "I'm done. You know the routine, dick head. Go in and take a seat."_

_I did know the routine well._

_Walking into the big room filled with tables and chairs, I took a seat at one and waited, givin' a few nods to the people I recognized around me that were here every week too._

_A few minutes later, the guys started walkin' in and when B finally walked over, I stood and gave him a quick hug before separating and sitting across from him._

"_Sup, B?"_

_He leaned back in his chair with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, "What the hell you think is up, man? It's pretty much the same damn thing here, every fuckin day. What's goin' on with you? You're all fidgety and shit, goin' into hyper mode…what's goin' on?"_

_My hands were actually shaking on the table and I didn't know why I was so nervous about telling him but I wasn't for sure how he was gonna react and I just…didn't want him to react badly and be mad at Jay or some shit._

_But I needed to have faith in him cuz Brandon was a good guy…he just made a few bad choices and he was payin' for them. And he was usually the one who just laid back and rolled with whatever happened, never quick to judge._

"_Uh…yeah, there is somethin' I wanted to tell you…"_

_His demeanor changed now as he leaned forward and looked at me with worry on his face, "You can tell me anythin', man…is it Candace again?"_

_I shook my head and sighed, "No, she came by the other day and we got back together, shit's all good for now…it's um…about Jay…"_

_He nodded and spoke quietly, "Is it his daddy cuz I can talk to him next time he comes sees me…he comes like once a month and puts money on my books…I can try and get him to chill the fuck out on him…"_

_I shook my head, "No, man, it's not that…I mean, I'm sure that's probably part of it cuz them two fight every couple weeks but…"_

_Taking a deep breath, I just laid it all out for him, "When he first came here, he was kinda depressed but more pissed, ya know…but these last couple weeks…it's like he's gettin' more and more depressed…he keeps clutchin' this god damn phone all the time, waitin' on someone to call him who obviously ain't callin' and that shit's tearin' him apart…he don't never smile no more, I have to make him get outta bed and shower and shit…he's drinkin' in school and failin' everything and you know he was doin' good before he came here…anyway I've been really worried about him and I think I might've figured out somethin' last night that might help me, help him…"_

_Brandon just nodded, "What is it, Cuz?"_

_I leaned down and whispered, "He talks in his sleep…last night…he was talkin' about some guy named Edward…he was cryin' and shit…and he was hurtin' about missin' this guy…seems to me like he's in love with him…I'm pretty sure he's gay, dude…"_

_Brandon's dark blue eyes grew wide and he whispered, "No shit?"_

_Nodding I whispered back, "Yeah, man…you know how I get about Candace when we break up…he's like a million times worse…it's really, really bad, B…"_

_He sat back in his chair and took a minute to think before he finally leaned back in and sighed, "Has anybody else heard him talkin' bout this boy?"_

_Shaking my head, I drummed my fingers nervously on the table, "No, just me…you're the only one I've told…"_

_He nodded and spoke quietly, "Good, don't let nobody find out…he's got it hard enough here without adding that shit on him. I don't know, man…just stick by his side and shit, ya know…watch out for him…he's not like…talkin' bout suicide or anythin', is he?"_

_His daddy committed suicide when he was a baby…my Uncle Chase blew his head off right in front of his mama and that woman was never the same again. Brandon pretty much raised his self and I remember worrying about him when he was Jay's age cuz he was depressed real bad. That's why he kept actin' out and shit…I still worried about him maybe tryin' to kill himself like his daddy one day…_

_I shook my head, "No, man, nothin' like that…it's just…he don't seem to care about nothin' anymore…he reminds me of you right 'fore shit started goin' real bad…and I won't let nobody find out. I mean, I remember that Hispanic kid from a couple years ago, right 'fore you got outta Juvie, that hung himself…I don't want people to talk about Jay like that…our last names get us into enough bullshit…"_

_He sat there for a minute, hands folded on the table and eyes closed. Then he sighed and whispered, "Angel…that boy who hung himself…his name was Angel. We went to school together…people were fuckin' vicious to that boy…"_

_Then he raised his head up and opened his dark blue eyes, "I don't want Jay to go through that. You keep your eye on him, watch out for him, man, cuz we're all we got…you keep him safe…"_

_I nodded, "Yeah, I will…so then, you're like…okay with this?"_

_He slumped back in his chair and scratched at his scruffy chin, "You okay with it?"_

_Taking a deep breath, I slumped back in my chair and wished I had a cigarette, "I don't know…I mean, it's like weird and shit…the thought of him…being that way…"_

_Then I leaned back forward and spoke quietly again, "But I don't know, man, we're all kinda fucked up…I don't think it makes him a bad person or nothin'…I can't say that it won't take me some gettin' used to but…fuck it…he's our little cousin and the boy's got heart and right now, he needs someone to look out for him so that's what I'm gonna do…"_

_Brandon let out a breath and smiled, "When'd you get so smart, young'un?"_

_I chuckled, "The good Lord blessed with me with two very big things…my brain bein' the second biggest…"_

_He rolled his eyes, "Your ego bein' the first, ya cocky bastard…"_

_We both laughed for a minute before he smiled, "So, how you doin', man?"_

_I shrugged, "I'm alright…I've been listenin' to you, Cuz…tryin' to stay outta trouble best I can…"_

_Nodding, he crossed his huge arms across his chest and smirked, "Uh huh…so you quit smokin' that shit then?"_

_I sighed, "No…and I don't wanna quit…it's like…life is hard and fucked up and shit…I need something to help me deal with it…calm my wild ass down…"_

_Unfolding his arms he leaned over the table and spoke, "You don't need a crutch, Jeremiah, you ain't broke…you know how close you were to bein' in this mother fuckin' place right next to me…I turned 18 in the county lock up and I'm gonna turn 21 behind bars, man…I'm missin' out on everythin' and you gotta chance to get your shit right…so get your fuckin' shit straight and quit with the bullshit, Cuz…one day, you're gonna find something worth seein' life with a clear head for…right now, you're just sleepwalkin…you need to wake the fuck up 'fore it's too late…don't be like me, man…"_

_I scrubbed my hands over my face and took in his words. He had been on my ass ever since he got locked up to start livin' better…and I did quit stealin' and shit…but I fuckin' hated being sober…_

_And I fuckin' hated that he was right._

_Letting out a groan, I nodded, "I know, man, I know…I'm workin' on it…I'll get it right…but…what if I can't…our whole family's fucked up and how's that old sayin' go…the apple don't fall far from the tree…"_

_He smiled now, "Apples can roll away, Cuz…that's the thing with our family…we all got good in us but we all keep doin' bad cuz it's easier than doin' what's right…you ain't dumb, man…you know the difference between right and wrong…that's what bein' a man is all about…doin' the right thing even when it's hard…when I get outta here, you can bet your ass that I'm gonna keep my shit straight…I'm done fuckin' up…"_

_Then he leaned forward and spoke softly again, "I know it's hard…and not one of us would admit it but all us boys…we're really fuckin' sensitive and over emotional and shit…when we get hurt, we hurt real bad…I worry about you, Cuz…you can play a tough act but I know how much Candace fucks with your head…I know how much you love her…just be careful…"_

_I wouldn't even admit to myself how I really felt about her but Brandon always knew…_

Thinking back to it now, I know I shoulda listened but I can't, for the life of me, regret havin' my son so I dealt with my broken heart the only way I could, I poured everything I had into raising him.

But I'll admit, I'm a little lonely.

Anyways, after talkin' to Brandon I stuck by Jay's side and told my mama that he was gonna be crashin' at our house a lot and she was just gonna have to fuckin' deal with it cuz if I woulda stuck up for B all them years ago, he might not be where he's at right now.

And I tried real hard to be a good role model and shit but honestly, I still partied a whole fuckin' lot.

But after awhile, Jay seemed to be getting a little better…he stopped doin' most of the bullshit he was doin before and focused on workin and playin his music.

I was watching in the bar that night when Edward took the stage. Once he started talkin and I seen him lookin off to the side of the stage at my little Cuz…I knew he was the one that my boy had been dreamin' about.

My first impression of the red headed youngster was that he had some big fuckin balls for showin' up here and then playin' a song in that redneck bar…I had to respect that.

Besides, it was kinda pimp shit.

But then while he was singin', I watched the way him and Jay looked at each other. I ain't ever seen two people look at each other the way they did.

It was like nobody in the world existed but them two and they looked at each other like the world began and ended in the other ones eyes…

It was kinda romantic and it made me wish I had someone look at me like that. Someone who thought I was the best thing in the whole world…who thought I was amazing.

JJ looks at me like that now and it's honestly the best feelin' in the whole world.

But I'd really like to settle down now…I'm tired of bein' lonely and quite frankly, I miss just havin' a woman to cuddle up with and shit.

I had thought that maybe Alice might be a good girl for me cuz Lord knows I wanted her from the minute I saw her. Now she ain't curvy, like I usually like them but I gotta admit…she had the most beautiful face of any woman I had ever seen. But then when I had the chance when I moved up here, I just wasn't ready.

Alice is the kind of woman that needs a good man and I wasn't one yet. I wasn't even sure I knew how to love and shit cuz I may have been in love with Candace, but I didn't do it right…didn't treat her right and her leavin' me all the time, was just as much my fault as hers.

I needed to get my shit together and it took a long time but I think I finally got it. I mean, I had a decent job, a place of my own, and I've been clean for two years now, besides the occasional beer or two…so how much more together could my shit get?

The only problem is, that she has a boyfriend now.

And the bigger problem is that over these last couple of years bein' her friend, I've gotten to know her really well. And what I feel for her goes way beyond a physical attraction…she's kinda the most amazing woman I've ever met.

She's selfless, the way she takes care of her friends and never asks for anything in return…she's really smart but don't make other people feel stupid…she's sweet natured and hard working and she'd do anything for anybody just cuz that's how she is.

Her boyfriend, Trent, seemed like a pretty decent guy too. He treats her good and accepts her friends. She seems to be really happy…'cept for one thing and I hope maybe I can be the one to help her out with that.

So, when she came walkin' up to me before Eddie and Jay's weddin' with a look of shock on her pretty little face, I hoped it was a good thing.

"Jeremiah? My mom's here. She said that two very handsome boys showed up on her doorstep a couple days ago and gave her a stern talking to about how important this wedding was to me…that Brady and I really put a lot into it and it would mean a lot to me if she showed up…"

I smiled down at her, "Oh yeah?"

She nodded and looked up at me with pretty hazel eyes, "Yeah…she said that he reminded her of my dad and that she realized she's been shut down these last few years…she said that she loves me and she wants to try and make things better…she's taking some time off this summer to just come to Seattle and help Brady and I get settled into our new place…"

I took a seat on one of the white chairs so she wouldn't strain her neck lookin' up at me, "Well, that's great, baby girl…that's what you always wanted, right?"

She sighed as she plopped down next to me, "Yes, it is but I've always been to afraid to say anything…she used to just sit around and cry all the time but once she started her own business and traveling so much, she seemed sort of happier, I guess…I didn't want to take that away from her…"

I reached out and tilted her chin up, "Don't look down, Ali…you always give and give and give but you don't never ask for nothin' in return…you put everybody else's happiness 'fore your own…you deserve to have everything you want in life…you're a damn good girl, darlin."

Her cheeks tinted pink, which I rarely ever saw from her and she smiled, "She wouldn't tell me who it was that came to visit her…she said he asked her not to tell…"

I just shrugged, "Maybe it was Eddie and Jay or Brady…hell, maybe even Trent…"

Now I was the one to look away as that ache settled in the pit of my stomach. She was here with him, not me.

But then I felt her small hand slide along the scruff of my cheek, turnin' me to face her.

"I haven't really talked to Trent about my mom and dad…and I thought about the other boys too but then JJ came running up yelling, 'Ali's mama, you came!'…"

_Shit, my boy totally narked me out…_

Now my cheeks were heating up which was a really fuckin' crazy thing cuz not much made me blush.

"Thank you, Jeremiah. No one's ever done anything like that for me before. You're right…I am always looking out for everybody else and sometimes I forget to look out for myself…thanks for looking out for me."

I smiled as she dropped her hand to her lap, "I'll always look out for you, Ali…you're, like, my best friend and…I just want you to be happy."

And fuck it, I couldn't stop myself from leaning over to her ear and whispering, "Are you happy, baby girl?"

I heard the breath leave her chest as she exhaled and looked up at me, all flushed and shit, "Yes, I'm happy…or I guess I'm working on it. What about you, Jeremiah? Are you happy?"

I nudged her shoulder with mine and moved in closer with a smile, "I'm workin' on it. You look really pretty today, by the way…almost as good as the day we took the boys out sleddin'…"

She laughed and nudged me back, "Oh my God, I looked terrible that day! I had, like, two pair of sweats on and two sweatshirts…I looked like that kid from A Christmas Story!"

I shrugged and ran my finger along her thigh, leaning in again and whispering, "You look beautiful in your fancy little dress and your hair all done up, darlin…but when I see you wearin' them old sweatpants in front of me, it shows me that you're comfortable enough with me to just be you…and I think that's the sexiest thing about you, Ali…has Trent seen your Tinkerbell sweatpants?"

Her eyes were lidded as she watched my finger runnin' up her thigh, "I…um…no…he hasn't…"

Sighing, I pulled my hand away and leaned back, "Shit…I shouldn't be flirtin' with you…you got a boyfriend…"

Now she laughed, "Jeremiah, you flirt with everybody…having a boyfriend doesn't stop you from flirting with Edward…"

Chuckling, I shrugged, "Well, he _is_ pretty…"

We sat there together for a minute, just laughing and finally she leaned over and kissed my cheek before she whispered, "I'm not in love with Trent…"

Then she stood up and smiled, "I'll see you later, Jeremiah. Thanks for being such a good friend."

I nodded and sighed but I had a smile on my face, "Anytime, baby girl…you gonna save a dance for me?"

She bit her bottom lip for just a second before a sweet smile graced her face, "I'll always save a dance for you, Jeremiah. All you have to do is ask…"

I smiled at her as she walked away and JJ came runnin up to me, "Daddy, I gotta pee!"

Scooping him up in my arms, I gave her one last look…to find her lookin' back at me…and the way she was lookin' at me…ain't nobody ever looked at me like that before. She was lookin' at me like I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen…like I was some kinda superhero or something.

When she finally looked away with a blush on her cheek, I smiled at my boy and held out my fist, "Daddy's still got it, son…give me some."

He pounded my fist and smiled as he held up a bag, "Ali's mama gave me this bag of jelly beans…I got it too, daddy. Give _me_ some…"

Pounding his fist, I laughed and rolled my eyes, "Good Lord, son…you're gonna give your old man a run for the money, huh?"

A confused look came to his sweet little face as he held up a jelly bean, "I don't have no money, daddy, but you can have this jelly bean…"

He giggled as he fed it to me and I smiled, "Thanks, baby boy…"

Wrapping his arms around my neck, he squeezed me tight, "You're welcome, daddy…I got you…"

It was amazing how a few simple words from my little man took my breath away and I hugged him back, "I got you too, son."

I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't always a good man and I didn't really know how to love before JJ…

But, now, I know how and I'm ready for a love story of my own.

Cuz like I said before, all us Whitlock boys…we're all suckers for a good love story.


	4. Eddie & Jay's First Fight

**Hello everybody! Here's an E/J outtake for you. This is set the night of the boys' first real fight as a married couple. It was alluded to in The Thing About Falling. Hope you enjoy.**

**Pickup Truck by Kings of Leon**

**Jay's POV**

I didn't plan for any of this to happen. Honestly, I only came here to see Eddie…these last few weeks have been fuckin' hard on me and I missed my baby boy. Between me workin' at the car shop and him workin' at the book shop, and classes between the both of us, me and Eddie had lacked real quality time lately and to be blunt about the whole thing…that shit was drivin' me a little crazy.

So I just came to this party to chill with my boy cuz it was by the mother fuckin' grace of God that Manny let me go a few hours early tonight.

But I wasn't expecting to hear that douche bag, Riley, talkin' shit about my husband…but I did…

I did and I reacted…

Edward couldn't be mad at me about that, could he?

_Shit…he still looks mad…_

"Is there anything in your pocket that could stab me or any weapons or drugs?"

I sighed as I shook my head and felt those fuckin' steel cuffs around my wrists, "No, sir…"

I knew it wasn't as bad as it looked. Sure, I had knocked a couple teeth outta Riley's mouth and pretty positive I broke his nose but I was also pretty sure that he had a bunch Xanax in his pocket which trumped my charges cuz I had two things goin' for me…I was totally clean and completely sober.

But as I looked into those dark green eyes that were currently scowling at me while the other cop clamped steel cuffs around his wrists…I knew that I was in big fuckin' trouble.

Eddie was pissed.

I had promised him that I wouldn't fight anymore and I've already broken that promise twice in the eight months we've been married. I mean, honestly, he couldn't be mad at me for the first time cuz he was totally in on that one…but this time was different.

I didn't even see Eddie jump into the fight but I shoulda known as soon as those other fuckers jumped in that he would have my back. Jeremiah and Em jumped in too but they were lucky enough to get outta there quick. So, me and Eddie kicked ass and ran but these dickhead cops stopped us as we were walking to his car parked down the block. A couple jerks from the party ID'd us and the rest is history. From the back seat of the police car, I looked over to see them putting Edward into another car.

I sighed as I closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat…it was gonna be a long fuckin' night cuz one thing I know…the system is fuckin' slow as shit and it's gonna probably take us four or five hours to even be processed and all that leaves you is a whole bunch of time to think about how shit got so fucked up to begin with…

_The past eight months have honestly been the best of my whole life. Being married to the love of my life and just living our lives together had been incredible. We fell asleep every night together, always had breakfast every mornin, and made sure to meet somewhere in the middle of the day, even if it was just for a quick kiss before we had to rush off somewhere else._

_It was busy but we always made time for each other…until these last couple of weeks anyway when he started some big Biology project with that douche bag, Riley. _

_Now, I'll admit, there were a few things about Edward that got on my nerves…I had no idea it was Esme that kept his room clean all those years because he was a slob. Wherever he took off his shoes or clothes, that's where they stayed until I picked them up and put them in the laundry basket. And he left empty pop cans and coffee cups everywhere, even though he didn't drink coffee, he drank hot chocolate._

_I don't know how many times I've tripped on his shoes in the mornings but I swear, I'm gonna break my neck some day…_

_And then there was his bad habit of leaving empty things lying around instead of throwing them away…shampoo bottles, dish soap, toothpaste…it drove me fuckin' crazy…_

_But all in all, I could learn to live with those things because Edward more than made up for it in other areas. He cooked breakfast almost every morning, he'd rub my back after a long day of workin' at the shop and classes, and he'd let me fall asleep almost every Sunday with my head in his lap on the couch as I dozed off watchin' football._

_Eddie was an awesome husband and I loved him more than anything._

_So when I woke up a couple weeks ago to find him gone already and a note on the nightstand that he had to meet Riley before class to work on his project…I kept the jealousy at bay and just made my own damn Cap'n Crunch with crunch berries…_

_Then it happened again…and then he couldn't meet me for lunch…or he was comin' home late for dinner…_

_But what really got to me wasn't that he was so busy but that something was bothering him and he wasn't tellin' me about it…_

_I asked him a few times but he always just said that school was wearin' him out…I hated that he was lying to me._

_I knew that he wasn't cheatin' on me cuz I know my husband better than that but I knew that something was goin' on that he wasn't tellin' me…_

_So, I did what any good husband would do…I started stalkin' him a little…_

_A few times, I snuck off to the library to see if that Riley asshole was puttin' the moves on my boy or makin' him uncomfortable or something…but Riley never showed up. It was always Edward just by himself workin' whenever he said that Riley was supposed to be workin' with him._

_I didn't understand why he was tellin' me that they had a project together when it looked like it was something he was doing by himself. If I would've known he was gonna be alone, I could've come with him so I figured for some reason, he just didn't wanna spend time with me._

_That started pissin' me off, especially when he'd finally get home and I'd ask him how workin' with Riley was goin' and he'd always give me a little smile and say everything was fine._

_For two weeks this went on and I was just gettin' madder and madder that he was still lyin' to me. But he turned in his project this mornin' and said he was gonna hang out at a party this evenin' with Alice and Brady to blow off some steam since he'd been workin' so hard. Jeremiah and Emmett were gonna swing by too just to check in on them. I had to work but I didn't mind if he went to a party as long as he took one of our friends cuz I didn't like him goin' places alone._

_I mean, it's my job to look out for him…he's my baby boy…_

We finally got to the station and Edward was still scowling at me as we were being finger-printed and processed.

As we were sittin', still cuffed and waitin' on them to finish processing us so they could put us in a holdin' cell, I tried to joke with him so he wouldn't be mad.

I nudged his arm with my shoulder and grinned, "So, how was your day, babe?"

He just looked at me for a moment before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Then he turned his whole body away from me and didn't say a word.

Not gonna lie, it broke my heart a little.

I mean, I was just protectin' his honor and shit.

So I stayed quiet until they finally moved us into a packed holdin' cell. He quickly moved away from me to the other side and sat on a concrete bench next to some middle aged, drunk guy.

I stood on the other side and just watched him for a minute. His bronze hair was all fuckin' crazy and his clothes were a little torn up and dirty but he still looked so god damn gorgeous that it took my breath away.

I couldn't stand bein' this close to him but so fuckin' far away so I huffed as I walked over and asked the drunk guy, "Hey man, you mind movin' over…I need to talk to him."

He slurred out, "Fuck off…"

So I figured I didn't have to be nice anymore. I leaned down and looked into his eyes as I growled very low so the guards didn't hear me, "Move…"

He leaned away from me a little before gettin' up and stumblin' off somewhere else and I sat down next to Eddie who still wouldn't look at me.

Leanin' over to his ear, I whispered, "C'mon, Eddie, it was just a stupid fight…it's not a big deal…"

Those pretty green eyes snapped to mine and he whispered harshly, "We're in jail, Jasper, I think it's a pretty big deal…"

I furrowed my brows and whispered back, "It's just a holdin' cell, Edward, they'll OR us in a few hours…"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"They'll release us on our own recognizance and we probably won't even have to see a judge…"

He crossed his arms across his chest and turned away from me, "That doesn't make it okay, Jasper…you promised you'd stop with this stupid jealousy crap…"

Now I huffed, "I didn't hit him cuz I was jealous, Eddie…he was a prick…"

Some older, ugly mother fucker across from us laughed, "I think these two are having a lover's quarrel…"

My head snapped and I growled out, "Mind your fuckin' business 'fore I make it mine to fuck you up…"

Edward's eyes got huge as he whisper screamed, "Jasper!"

But I didn't tear my eyes away from the guy as I huffed, "What? Don't defend that guy, he's a prick too and I _will _fuck him up if he keeps lookin' at me like he's gonna say somethin' stupid again…"

The guy finally just got up and moved so I turned my eyes back to Eddie's, still keepin' an eye out for trouble but usually people will leave you alone in these places if you just acted a little crazy…nobody really wants to fuck with a crazy, redneck, white boy…

Edward narrowed his eyes and whispered coarsely, "We'll talk when we get home, Jasper…now please just sit down and shut up…"

My mouth dropped open and I gasped…he actually told me to shut up.

Well shit, now my feelings were hurt. I can't believe he told me to shut up. I've never said that to him. It felt like all the air left my chest and I was kinda crushed as I just leaned back against the wall and stretched out my legs, "Fine…what-the-fuck-ever…"

I wanted to move away from him but no matter how mad he was, I wasn't gonna leave his side…even if he's being an asshole.

So, I just put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes…

It was gonna be a long fuckin night.

_He's been in such a bad mood lately…ever since he started that stupid project. And he's been having nightmares too…not real bad ones where he ends up in the shower but enough for me to notice him jerking awake and gasping for air._

_What the fuck is he keeping from me?_

_I knew it had something to do with Riley cuz like I said, that guy is a prick. When I got to the party tonight, I started looking for Edward but saw Riley and a couple of his friends first. I knew who he was cuz Eddie had pointed him out to me once in the quad but I had never actually met him but I figured he must be alright since he gave us the address of the party that Joshua was at so we could kick his ass for Brady a few months ago._

_I started over to him so I could ask if he'd seen Eddie but I stopped when I heard him talkin' with his buddies, "Dude, I've got, like, ten Xanax left and I'm getting fucked up this weekend 'cause I'm finally free from that freak show in my Biology class…"_

_Now I know there was no way he was talkin' bout my husband like that cuz I'd have to fuck him up. _

_So, I walked up and smiled, "Hey man, have you seen Edward?"_

_He had a beer in his hands and him and his buddies started laughing._

"_He's probably off in a corner crying somewhere, that guy's such a freak…"_

_My eyes narrowed as I asked, "What the fuck did you just say?"_

_They all just kept on giggling like some damn drunks and he slurred out, "Seriously man…that guy is a weirdo. I'm so glad this damn project is over so he keeps his faggotty ass away from me now…freak…like it's not weird enough that he's 19 and married but he's married to another dude…he's just…gross…what do you want him for anyway? Ya wanna kick his ass cause I'd pay good money to see that?"_

_I raised my hand so he could see my weddin' band and smirked, "No, I think I'm gonna kick yours…"_

_So I did. I hit him with a left hook that sent him to the ground, I swear that mother fucker was gonna have my wedding band imprinted into his forehead for weeks, and then I just kept hitting him until I felt another guy on my back. The fight escalated quickly and I didn't even know Eddie had jumped in until I saw him on top of one of the other guys._

_Once they were all down, I jumped up and grabbed Eddie, pullin' him off the guy he was tagging and yanked him outside as I heard the sirens coming. We started for his car since it was closer than my truck but we didn't make it halfway down the block till the cop cars pulled up._

_He threw up his hands and yelled at me, "What the hell, Jasper? I thought you were at work!"_

_I yelled back, "I got off early! What's up with you, huh? Why the fuck did you lie to me about Riley?"_

_Rolling his eyes, he pulled at his hair, "Oh my God! Really, Jay? This is some jealousy thing again?"_

_Stomping forward, I huffed, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Edward? I want the god damn truth! You say you're working with Riley but you're always alone! What the fuck are you hidin' from me?"_

_His eyes went huge as he gasped, "You've been following me? I can't even believe you right now…"_

_God I wanted to throw something…_

"_Me? Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? I can't…"_

_But then I was kind of thrown onto the hood of the cop car cuz apparently they had been tellin' us to stop arguing but we didn't even hear them. I saw the wind get knocked outta him too as he was handled the same way. I didn't like that they were handling him so rough but I knew my man was tough and would be fine._

_Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath…_

_I fuckin' hated it when he was mad at me…_

Leaning forward, I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I had classes all mornin' and then work right after and I was really feelin' it now…I was fuckin' exhausted.I was also still agitated and mad but I wanted us to just be okay again.

But I didn't think I was in the wrong this time…

Okay, well maybe a little of the blame fell on me cuz I coulda just ignored that asshole and went and found Eddie…but still, on the blame scale of shame, it was tipping hard in Eddie's direction.

He leaned over and whispered, "Are you okay, Jay?"

I sighed, "I'm gettin' a headache…"

The feel of his breath on my ear caused me to break out in goose bumps, "Do you want to lean on me and get some sleep, babe?"

God I wanted too, but no way was I gonna go to sleep on Eddie in jail…that shit would not be cool so I just smiled a tired smile, "Thanks but I'll be okay…we should get out soon…it's been, what, like, five hours or some shit…"

He nodded and stifled a yawn now too so I whispered, "You can sleep on me, if you want, Eddie…"

Flashing a tired crooked smile, he whispered, "No, I'm okay, Jay."

Since we were finally speakin' civilized to one another, I kept talkin' to him, "Do you gotta work today?"

Shaking his head, he yawned again, "Um…no, what about you?"

"I have to go in for a few hours tonight at 4 to cover Miguel so he can go to his daughter's birthday party but he said he'd be back around 7..."

"Good, you can at least get a few hours sleep when we get out of here…"

Then the guard spoke up, "Cullen-Whitlock!"

I was prayin' that if they were just lettin' one of us out, that it would be him. But, as luck would have it, they released us both with a charge of 'Public Nuisance' and a $150 fine each, time served.

It was like 5am so we got a cab and had it drop us off at his car and he was gonna drive me to get my truck, which was a couple blocks away.

When he dropped me off at my truck, he leaned over and gave me a soft kiss, "Follow me, okay? So I can make sure you get home okay…"

I grinned, "I'd follow you anywhere, Eddie…"

By the time we both had pulled in the parking garage and made our way to the elevators, we were draggin' ass. As we were goin' up to the tenth floor, I finally asked him, "So what's goin' on, Eddie? Why'd you lie to me about workin' with Riley?"

He looked down at the floor and sighed, "It's nothing, Jay. The project is done now so let it go…"

I furrowed my brows and huffed, "Why the hell won't you talk to me?"

Looking up, he crossed his arms across his chest and growled back, "Fine, Jay, I got assigned to work with Riley but he doesn't like me, okay? So I just had to do all the work myself and I've been working really hard…"

"Why didn't you just tell your teacher you needed a new partner?"

Now he rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his crazy hair, "I did but she said that in the real world we'll have to work with people we don't get along with so I just needed to tough it out…and I did, it was finally over until you came in tonight and started a fight with him!"

My voice was getting louder too as I looked over at him, "He deserved to be hit, he was talkin' shit about you…"

He huffed back, "Not everyone has to like me, Jay!"

"No, they don't gotta like you, Edward, but they sure as fuck gotta respect you! I'm not gonna let anybody talk about you like that!"

"They're just words, Jasper! You should've just walked away!"

"Fuck that! I don't walk away from shit and you know that!"

The elevator doors opened and he stomped off down the hallway mumbling, "You need to grow up…"

I was pissed but held it together until he opened the door and we were both inside our apartment before I yelled again.

"I need to grow up? This from a guy that won't even pick his dirty clothes up off the floor…"

His eyes got wide and his mouth dropped open, "Oh, are we going there now, Jay?"

I stormed off into the kitchen to start the coffee pot and put him some water on the stove for his tea, "Fuck yeah we're goin' there!"

He followed right behind me, yelling back, "Do you think you're, Mr. Perfect? You promised me you wouldn't smoke in the house and it smells like a damn ashtray in here!"

Slamming the cabinet shut after gettin' his tea out for him, I turned to see him standin' at the end of the counter with his arms across his chest again.

I don't know why but it pissed me off even more…like he was shutting himself away from me by that little action, "You said that you didn't care…what, did you lie about that too?"

"I'm not lying about anything! Why the hell are you stalking me now? You have no reason not to trust me…"

"You're kiddin', right? You lied to me about bein' cool with Riley, you lied to me about workin' with him every day…"

"Because I didn't want you to make a big deal out of it, Jay! You make everything bigger than it has to be! God, you're such a drama queen!"

"It's funny that I'm the queen when you're the one that acts like he's PMS'ing all the fuckin' time!"

"I just didn't want you to worry! I had it handled but you just had to get involved…"

"Maybe I wouldn't have gotten involved, Edward, if you would've told me the truth from the beginning! And honestly, I could give two shits about Riley cuz there's somethin' else goin' on with you that you're lyin' to me about! You've been off for weeks! Do we need to change your medication or somethin?"

_Oohhh…probably shouldn't have said that when I was mad…it sounded way worse than I meant it to be…_

_I'm just worried about him…_

Once again, his mouth dropped open as he whispered breathlessly, "I can't believe you just…"

Sighing as I leaned against the counter, I pinched the bridge of my nose and spoke quietly, "Shit, Edward, I didn't…_fuck_, maybe I should just leave…"

I was sick of arguin' and I really just wanted to go to bed but I wanted him to go with me…no way could I sleep without him…

But gone was his cute, crooked smile and in it's place was a look of disgust I had never seen on his face as he whispered, "Yeah, maybe you should just run away, it seems like you Whitlock's are good at that…"

Now my mouth dropped open in shock because he did not just say that to me…

I turned around as my eyes began to sting worse and my head pounded. Taking a deep breath, I tried to count to ten but I just couldn't focus on anything so I threw the tea kettle in the sink and mumbled, "Fuck this shit…"

Brushing past him, I grabbed my keys from the table beside the door and walked out. I managed to make it to my truck but there was no way I could drive anywhere in the shape I was in. I had been up over 24 hours, my eyes were blurry from crying and my head was killing me.

Layin' my head against the steering wheel, I tried takin' deep breaths but I was just raking in ragged breaths as I sobbed quietly.

This whole thing just escalated far too quickly…

_I should've just kept my fuckin' mouth shut to Riley tonight…I should've walked away…I should've shut up in jail so I wouldn't have risked us gettin' into more trouble…I shouldn't have huffed at him in the elevator or said that stupid remark about his dirty clothes on the floor…I should've never brought up his medication while we were fighting…_

But I did all of those things and I don't know how to fix it now…

_I just want my baby boy back…_

A knock on my window caused me to jump and I sniffle as I see him through blurry eyes. Reaching down, I crank the old window handle until I see his face. He looks as miserable as I feel and tears are streamin' down his cheeks and I can barely understand him as he sobs, "I'm so…so sorry, Jay…I didn't…mean it and…I love you…so much, I'm…so sorry…you're right…there is…something wrong…and I'll tell you…everything if…you just come back…home…please…please Jay…don't leave…please don't leave me, I…I can't even…"

Faster than I've moved all night, I jump outta the truck and pull him into my arms as I whisper, "Shh, now, darlin'…I'm so sorry, baby…calm down…"

I'm worried that he's gonna throw himself into a panic attack so I pull away and take his face in my hands, rubbin' the tears from underneath his pretty green eyes with my thumbs and whisper, "Everything's okay, Eddie…_we're _okay…"

His cherry red lips were trembling and I just couldn't stop myself from pressing mine to them, needing to breathe him in and taste him on my tongue…it had been far too long…almost 24 hours…

He gasped into my mouth and suddenly his hands were locked in my hair and mine were grabbing his ass, pulling him up so that his legs were around my waist.

It was desperate and needy and before I knew it, I had him pinned against the door of my truck, kissin' him like it would be the last time…

His fingers were clutching at my shoulders as he threw his head back and moaned softly, "Take me upstairs, Jay…"

I knew we still had stuff to talk about but all of that could wait cuz nothin' was so big that we couldn't fix it…there was nothin' we couldn't work through so honestly, the most important thing to me right now was just takin' my husband home and buryin' myself nine inches deep…

I faintly remember making some sort of grunting sound as I grabbed his hand and we took off runnin' to the elevators. Once we were in, we were all over each other again…hands tugging at shirts and tongues tangled as we pushed and pulled at each other like we were starving for affection.

And I guess we had been, cuz me and Eddie are always all over each other and to go a whole day without hardly touching had never happened with us before…

The second the apartment door was shut behind us, he dropped to his knees in the entryway and began tuggin' at my jeans. I fisted his thick, bronze hair and moaned as he quickly yanked them down to my knees and took my cock in his mouth.

"Oh God, Eddie baby…mmm, fuck…just like that…"

I held his hair and watched as my cock disappeared between those pretty red lips, them bright green eyes lookin' up at me…his eyes were always brighter after he cried.

My body was aching and I was exhausted but it almost seemed like that made the hot, wet feeling of my dick down his throat even better…a little pleasure, a little pain…cuz I knew that when I did cum, it was gonna be fuckin' earth shattering.

But I couldn't take much more…I needed to be inside of him.

So I pulled his head away by my fistful of hair and panted out, "Lay down…"

He laid back and began pushing his jeans down as I dropped to my knees and yanked mine all the way off before our shirts went flyin' off somewhere too. Reaching over to the little table by the front door, I pulled open the drawer and grabbed the lube we kept there. We pretty much had it hidden all over the apartment for any fucking emergency that might arise…

This was definitely a fucking emergency.

I hissed as I coated my cock, already trembling with an overwhelming need as I push his legs far apart and hook my arms underneath them. Yanking his ass up to me, there's no time for preparation and I'm thankful that our overactive sex life has made my boy always ready for me. There's no need to line myself up cuz my dick knows where's it goin' as it pushes it's way in…his cock is strainin' against his pale, strong stomach, leakin' at the tip and so fuckin' pretty that I grip his thighs and ignore the carpet burn on my knees as I start fuckin' him hard, just so I can watch it twitch and bounce…

Eddie is so god damn beautiful with his tear stained face and wild ass hair that I can't keep lookin' at him or I'm not gonna last…

I drop his legs and they hook around my waist as he tries to draw me deeper. Leaning over, I take his lips to mine, my elbows now burning against the carpet on either side of his face as my feet press against the front door to help me drive into him harder.

His fingers are pulling hard on my damp curls and digging into my shoulders and back as he pushes right back against me with everything he has. I can feel his cock between our sweaty stomachs, twitching and hard as hell, the sticky tip leaking…

Then he's pushing against my shoulder and urgin' me onto my back, so we roll over so that he's on top but our bodies haven't gained an inch of space between us. Our pants and moans and grunts are accompanied only by the sounds of the birds beginning to chirp outside and the soft swish of our bodies against the carpet.

He pulls away with his head thrown back and a long moan as I bend my legs and grip his thighs for leverage to fuck him back. But then he leans back on one hand as the other wraps around his thick cock, and he looks at me with bloodshot eyes and a pretty little smile on his lips as he starts jerkin' himself off.

He fuckin' knows I like that shit…there's just nothin' as pretty as Edward playin' with himself.

My eyes roll back as I moan, "Oh fuckin' hell…" and my body starts to shake as I feel that fuckin earth shattering orgasm approaching fast as fuck…

The sound of my name fallin' from those lips makes my eyes snap back just in time to see his roll and that pretty cock shootin' out in thick white ribbons across my stomach and chest…

I'm just done…I'm cumming so god damn hard inside of him that nothing comes out of my mouth but an incoherent string of grunts and gasps…

My body feels more drained than it has my entire life and I can barely get the energy to wrap my arms around him when he collapses on my chest…but miraculously, I manage.

We lay there for awhile, just tryin' to catch our breath and I'm certain he's fallen asleep until he whispers against my chest, "When we buy a house, we need to get a lot more padding underneath the carpet…"

I giggle as I feel all kinds of dazed and blissed out right now, "We gotta make sure it's stain resistant too…"

Now he giggles and lifts his head. He's so fuckin' gorgeous, with those tired green eyes and crooked smile. Then the smile fades and he whispers, "I'm really sorry about everything, Jay…I was way out of line with that Whitlock comment…and I'm sorry I told you to shut up…"

I sigh and run my fingers through his hair, "I needed to shut up…I'm sorry too, Eddie…I didn't mean it to come out like that about your medicine…"

He shrugged and gave me a sad smile, "It's okay…I haven't had my meds tweaked in the last few years and I suppose with all of the new things happening in our lives that maybe I should talk with my doctor about it…I guess I have been a little on edge…"

Rolling to his side, he's half layin' on top of me still, our legs tangled as our fingers just touch each other.

"Are you ready to tell me what's been wrong, babe?"

He sighs and a deep blush comes to his cheeks as he looks down, "Yes, I'll tell you…it's really, really stupid, Jay…I'm so embarrassed I even let it go on this long…I feel so stupid…"

Raisin' his chin so I can look in those eyes, I smile, "Do you remember when we were thirteen and you had your first wet dream?"

He laughed now as his cheeks darken even more, "I was dreaming about you, you know…"

I smile, "I know that now…but don't you remember how embarrassed you were? Eddie you and me have been through just about everything there is and there ain't no reason, ever, for you to be embarrassed about tellin' me anything…"

He groaned but gave me a smile, "Ugh…okay, here it is…do you remember a couple of weeks ago when some of my classmates from Biology asked me to go to a movie with them?"

I nodded, I had to work that night but I was proud of Eddie for tryin' to make new friends.

"Well, I told you that we went to go see that Fast and Furious movie because it had that really hot blonde guy in it that reminded me of your cousin, Jeremiah…and that's what they told me we were going to see…only they changed their minds when we got to the theater…"

His whole body was starting to get red splotches now, "They decided to see that new Nightmare on Elm Street movie instead…"

I let out a breath and sighed, "Eddie, you know you can't watch shit like that…"

His eyes started to water and he sniffled, "I know but it's not like I could tell them that I was too afraid to watch a stupid movie…I just…I figured I could close my eyes at the really scary parts and everything would be okay…but it was really, really scary, Jay…"

I pulled him close as he buried his face in my neck, "I only made it through the first ten minutes until Freddie killed that really hot guy…and then I ran out and everybody found out, including Riley who I got assigned partners with a few days later and he just kept making fun of me but I couldn't tell anyone why it upset me so bad so I…"

Running my fingers up and down his back, I held him close and whispered, "Shh…it's okay, darlin…Riley's a dick and you ain't ever gotta speak to that asshole again…and fuck everybody else…"

He was still sniffling as he whispered, "But I'm 19, Jay…almost 20 and I can't even watch a movie like a normal person…I've been having nightmares and I feel so stupid…I'm such a freak…"

I pulled his head back so I could look in his eyes, "Hey, don't let me hear you talk about my boy like that or I'll have to kick your ass…"

I smiled and he smiled back through a few sniffles, "I'm sorry for making you worry so much…I should've just told you…"

"Yeah, you should've but have you learned your lesson, baby boy?"

He nodded and smiled again, "Yes…no scary movies and no keeping things from you, even if it's stupid…"

Leaning up, I kissed his lips and smiled, "Mmm…good boy…let's go to bed, okay?"

He stood first and helped pull me up to my feet. I started for our bedroom when I noticed he wasn't with me, so I turned around and saw him picking up our clothes we had thrown everywhere.

Laughing, I walked up and mustered up just enough strength to pick him up and throw him over my shoulder.

The clothes fell to the floor as he laughed, "What the hell are you doing, Jay? I was trying to pick up our dirty clothes…"

I smacked his ass and smiled, "Fuck those god damn clothes…I'm goin' to bed and I'm takin' my pretty boy with me…"

He giggled as I tossed him on the bed and pulled the curtains shut. Crawling in underneath the blankets, I finally pulled my boy close and shut my eyes, mumbling sleepily, "Love you, Eddie…"

I barely heard his soft, sleepy, "Love you too, Jay…"


	5. Winnie the Pooh and Em J too

**A lot of you wanted Jay to take Eddie to see the new Winnie the Pooh…so here ya go! This is set place during Spring Break, the boys freshman year of college. I realize the movies I use, weren't out then but this is my world so fuck that, lol. This is also a kind of side piece to my Brady and Brandon story, The Thing About Falling. You don't have to read that story for it to make sense, but it might fill in a few little tidbits of information.**

**Hope you enjoy a little fluffy Eddie and Jay goodness…**

**Eddie's POV**

_I really want to see Winnie the Pooh…_

"Um, I don't care, Jay…we can see the new Conan…"

_Although I think Brandon and Brady really want to be alone…_

We were on Spring Break in Texas close to the end of our first year of college…and our first year of marriage. Both had went better than I ever dreamed, though still bumpy in places but I was well aware that life wasn't supposed to be perfect…because where would be the fun in that?

Life was unexpected but so much less scary when I knew I'd have Jay beside me while we stumbled through. He was my heart and I would do anything for him. That's how we ended up in Texas, visiting his cousin Brandon who had been out of prison for about a year now.

I thought it would be good for Jay and Jeremiah to see their cousin because after a couple of talks with him, he seemed like he could get through to them about all of the fighting they had been doing lately. Brandon had a roughness about him, even deeper than the other Whitlock boys but there was a tenderness there as well…like everything he had been through in life, thickened his skin but softened his heart.

A gentle beast…but a beast, nonetheless…

So, the whole family packed it up for a week and came to good ole Texas to visit the Whitlock family. Jeremiah and Suzie's mom was sick again so it was good for them to visit with her. Jeremiah had really missed Brandon, fan-boying about him all the time…he cared for him a lot and felt very grateful for the things his cousin had done for them as children.

He told me stories of Brandon stealing food for them when they were hungry and beating up bullies when they were too little…Jeremiah loved him, so by default, I did too.

Him and Jay had gotten closer and started talking more and more, getting into long conversations about football and Cops…

So I was glad to come to Texas and meet him.

Of course, the fact that he was built like a Grecian warrior was an added bonus…

_Jesus, I've been hanging out with Brady too much…_

"Eddie, are you sure you don't wanna see somethin' else?"

Looking into my husband's beautiful sky blue eyes, I smiled, thankful that he didn't ask me out loud about Winnie the Pooh…he knew I wanted to see it but would be too embarrassed. It's not a big deal, I can just wait till it comes out on DVD and then pretend to buy it for Em J…okay, so I'll buy two copies…

"It's fine, Jay…"

_I'm sorry, Pooh bear…it would've been cool to see you on the big screen…and you too, Tigger, in all your wonderful, bouncy glory…_

We were all standing in the middle of a theater in Texas, having drove a little while outside of their town into a bigger city for safety reasons.

My father spoke up as he put his arm around my mom's waist, "Well, we're going to see Hangover 2..."

Mom smiled and nudged him, "I still owe him from that last crappy chick flick…"

"Meet us here when your movies are done. Do not go anywhere alone, stay together."

We agreed and soon it was just us, except for Suzie who had stayed home to spend some time with her mom.

"Daddy, I wanna see Lightenin'…"

JJ put his arm around Jeremiah's neck as he held him on his hip, "Whatch'a say, baby girl, ya wanna see Cars 2 with us?"

"Yeah, Ali, please…"

Alice smiled up at him as JJ reached for her, "Like I could say no to the most handsome boy in the whole world…"

Jeremiah now put his arm around her and pulled her close, "Well, thank you, darlin'…"

JJ giggled, "She was talkin' bout me, daddy…"

She laughed as she kissed his cheek, "I sure was, sweetheart…"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, that boy was going to be the most undeniable Whitlock boy of them all.

Emmett smiled, "I love Mater! Can we go see that too, Rosie? Em J will love it…"

Rosalie laughed at her husband's big puppy dog eyes, "Oh, I suppose that's fine with me…I do love cars…"

But Em J pointed to the cardboard cut out of Winnie the Pooh, "Dat piggy!"

Ah, Piglet…the boy loved him…we bonded over it on nights that Jay and I would keep the boys, reading the book and watching the old movies…Em J had grown to love the adorable little pig thing just as much as I adored Pooh and Tigger…

JJ spoke up now, "C'mon, Em J…it's Lightenin'…"

But Em J just shook his head and pointed, "Dat piggy, JJ!"

JJ's little eyes looked down as that pink, bottom lip jutted out a little, "Ok, Em J…we can see Piglet if ya wanna…"

Jasper walked over to Em J and held out his arms, which he gladly reached out for, "How bout Eddie and I take Em J to see Winnie the Pooh and ya'll can go see Cars 2..."

Em J smiled and laid his head on Jay's shoulder. Rosalie raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged, "That's fine with me…"

_Yay! Oh my God, I'm such a dork…but still, yay…_

Jay winked at me as he walked back over with a happy Em J and I felt my cheeks heat up because I'm sure he could feel my happiness over the turn of events.

And I was kind of glad we were going to be alone because I wondered if he had noticed the thing going on between Brady and Brandon.

We had only been in Texas two days and the boys were glued to the hip. They made a most unlikely pair on the surface, Brady the very definition of cute little twink and Brandon the big, tough, hardened mountain of a man.

He was gorgeous, even taller than Jay and built even bigger than Emmett. But he had the trademark Whitlock dimples and baby blue eyes. His pale blonde hair was straight but unruly as it hung almost to his chin and his face was covered in dark blonde scruff. And the kicker was the huge, muscular arms covered in tats. He was sexy, there was no denying that, but still not as sexy as my husband.

Jay nudged my shoulder and smiled, "C'mon, babe, let's go get our tickets."

I smiled, resisting the urge to grab his hand. It was such a natural thing for me to just hold his hand whenever I wanted but I was aware of my surroundings and knew better than to push things here.

"Okay, Jay."

We bought our tickets and popcorn for Em J, Skittles for me, and M&M's for Jay before making our way into the almost barren theater. Em J sat in my lap, munching on the popcorn and watching the commercials play on the screen. We still had a few minutes before the movie began and Jay laid his arm along the back of my seat as he leaned over and whispered, "You really think I wasn't gonna take you to see Pooh bear, babe?"

Giving him the crooked smile he adores, I whispered back, "I knew you'd come through, Love…you always do."

"I always will, baby boy."

God I wanted to kiss him right now. Instead, my heart fluttered from the scent of his honey breath and the blue in his eyes.

Gracing me with a dimpled grin, he whispered, "So, I think Brandon might be gay…"

My eyes shot wide open as I whispered, "Oh my God, I think so too! At least bi or something because there is no denying that him and Brady have something going on…"

He laughed, "I know, right…it's cute, them tryin' to hide it and stuff…reminds me of us when we first got together…"

Now I chuckled as my cheeks heated up, remembering how we really thought we were hiding it but all of our friends and my parents knew…

"You should talk to him, Jay…find some way to bring it up about us and how it's so much better to be true to yourself. Jeremiah obviously doesn't know. I wonder if he and Brady have admitted it to each other yet?"

He sighed, "I don't know. I'm gonna talk to him. He's my cousin and I know we ain't been real close but I love him and if he _is _gay, he's gonna need a lot of support. He's stuck here in Texas for four more years till his parole is done and I'm sure you've noticed how stone age our hood is…"

I nodded, "Yeah, it's pretty bad."

"I'm worried, though, Eddie…we're leavin' in a week and you know how sensitive Brady is…he's fragile…I don't want either of them to get hurt…"

I smiled at my sweet, caring husband, "Brady's not a child anymore, Jay…we can't protect him from everything…all we can do is be there for both of them as best we can if they should need us…"

His hand came up and his fingers trailed down my chin, surprising me as he smiled, "Sometimes I forget that we're grown ups now…"

Chuckling, I turned my head and kissed his fingertips, "It's surreal, isn't it? I mean, we're all in college…and some of us have kids…"

Em J smiled up at his while he munched on his popcorn, "Dat me, Uncle D…"

I laughed, "Yes, I'm talking about you, Em J…"

He bounced as he ate and continued watching the screen while he sang out, "Dat rumbly in my tummy…silly willy nilly old bear…"

Jay chuckled, "Yeah, it's so crazy…sometimes I still have dreams that I'm climbin' in your window…who would of thought that we'd be here now…like this, you and me…"

Sliding my hand down in between us and squeezing his jean clad thigh, I whispered with a crooked grin, "I used to day dream about this…and even my best day dream pales in comparison to the real thing…so thank you for giving me a life better than any dream I ever had…"

That look came to his eyes…I know that look, when his baby blues are half lidded and he glides that silk tongue across his pink, puffy bottom lip…

He wants to kiss me and I smirk as his eyes fall to my lips but then he whispers, his voice low and raspy, "Bein' here in Texas reminds me of where I'd be right now if you hadn't loved me, Eddie…I sit and think about how different my life coulda played out and this is, by far, better than anything I could have ever imagined…you saved me, baby…I will be forever grateful to you for lovin' me…I just wanted you to know…"

_God, the man still makes me melt…_

"I know, Jay. Your life would've been different but you'd still have the same heart…your strength would've gotten you through anything. In fact, it's something I've noticed in all of you, Whitlock's…you keep your hearts so hidden behind stone that when someone finally breaks through, the whole foundation is shook and the strength of your emotions come crashing through like a dam that has given way…"

His eyes looked at me curiously as he whispered, "What are you sayin', Eddie?"

Taking a breath, I whispered, "I'm more worried for Brandon right now than Brady, Jay. I mean, he was about to hack off someone's hand last night because they pushed Brady with it…"

Sighing deeply, he nodded, "Yeah…"

Looking into his calming blue eyes, I kept going, "I've been watching him and it's like he has to hold himself together, the way he always tightens his arms around his chest and tries to make himself small…he's so quiet and observing of everything, like he doesn't know what to trust or how to feel…he's struggling so bad right now, God, I can feel it when I look at him…it's like looking at me at 12 years old…he needs help, Jay…we have to help him…"

He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, "I'll talk to him, Edward. I'll help him…maybe I can get him to talk to Carlisle…he always knows what to do. But I don't want you workin' yourself up about it…we'll make sure they're alright…"

Nodding, I looked down and sighed, "I just know what it feels like, Jay…I don't know what he's went through in his life but he's so lost right now…we have to find some way to help him…we have to have a plan set in motion before we leave Texas…"

Now he sighed softly, "I love you, Eddie…you're such a good person…"

I raised my head and gazed into his eyes, "He's family…we help our family…go team Tripod…"

That caused him to chuckle as he bumped my raised fist, "Team Tripod…"

I spoke quietly as I leaned over to his ear, "And I love you too, Jay…"

The theater began to darken and I was thankful that there were only what appeared to be a couple of grandmothers and their grandkids sitting several rows ahead of us…

Because my eyes fluttered along with my heart as he brushed his honey lips against mine. Then he whispered, "Do you remember the first time we held hands in the movie theater?"

A deep sigh of assurance left my lips as I puckered them against his.

Jay had the best lips ever…

Then his tongue swept across my mouth as he whispered, "I wanted to kiss you so bad…"

Now a soft moan left my lips and I began to open my mouth to his when I felt a little head lay on my belly and two little chubby arms as Em J smiled, "Aww…me love too, Uncle D…"

Jay pulled away from me with a chuckle and my cheeks were bright red as we wrapped our arms around him and gave him some love.

Leaning down, Jay kissed the top of his head and smiled, "Uncle Eddie and Uncle Jay love you too, Em J…"

The movie began and Em J pulled away, bouncing as he pointed and shouted, "Look, Uncle D…Uncle Jay, dat Pooh! Dat Tigger! Dat Piggy!"

We laughed and finally settled in to watch the movie. Watching Em J laugh and act out parts was probably the best thing though…because I loved Pooh when I was little so seeing him share in my love and to get to act out on it as a child, like I never could…it was meaningful to me.

I think sometimes it's amazing that we can heal from the simplest things…watching him be happy and knowing that he would always be protected and loved was more healing than any therapy or medication.

My dad thinks laughter is the best medicine but I would have to argue that love is just as good.

About twenty minutes into the movie, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out, wondering who could be texting me because almost everyone I knew was sitting in a movie theater right now.

_**OMG Conan is effing hot! **_

I chuckled as Jay looked down and saw the text from Brady. Glad for the almost empty theater, I laughed as I typed out a message to him.

**Is he as hot as Brandon? I bet he'd look mouthwatering in one of those little loin cloths, covered in dirt and sweat…**

Jay pinched me as he scowled and I rolled my eyes, "I just want to see what he says, Jay…see what information I can get…"

He smirked as he whispered, "Just remember…I'm your slave boy…"

I really wanted to think about Jasper on his knees in front of me wearing only his beautiful smile as he…

_Shit, can't think about that…Em J's sitting on your lap…_

And my thoughts were PG again…

_**There's no comparison…Brandon is beautiful.**_

Smiling, I showed my phone to Jay, "Look, he didn't write anything dirty about him…I think he really likes him, Jay…."

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah I think he does…I wonder if they're holdin' hands in between the seats…"

Shoving my phone in my pocket, I laced my fingers with his and laid my head on his shoulder as Em J snuggled right in the middle.

When the movie was over, Jay leaned to my ear and whispered, "I could think of a bunch of fun things to do while I bounce like Tigger…"

He raised an eyebrow and smirked as I laughed and nudged his ribs, "Just like Tigger, you're truly an original, Jay…"

The movie was only an hour long so we still had an hour to kill before the others were done.

So we went to the theater's little arcade and I showed my super fly crane skills to Em J by winning him a stuffed Piglet. And then I won Jay a Pooh Bear.

Then I watched as Jay was on one of those arcade motorcycles, with Em J in front of him, both laughing as they leaned the bike back and forth, avoiding the obstacles on the virtual road in front of them.

After a few games, Em J grabbed himself between the legs and looked up at us, "I need go pee pee!"

I picked him up and we walked to the Family restroom we had passed earlier. I locked the door behind us as Jay grabbed the little step stool and put it in front of the toilet. He helped Em J step up on it and made sure he was steady as Em J pulled down his pants and pull up.

He looked at the toilet for a moment before scratching his dark wavy hair, "What I do, Uncle Jay? Me forget…"

I chuckled as Jay smiled, "Just aim and go, buddy…"

It took Em J a moment but eventually he did it. When he was finished, Jay helped him pull up his clothes and wash his hands. Em J bounced over to me with his arms up, "I did it, Uncle D! Me went pee pee in da potty! I big boy like JJ!"

JJ had been potty trained for about six months and Em J had been trying, he was finally starting to get the hang of it and I never realized how much pride you could have for someone learning how to go in the potty.

Scooping him up, he giggled as I held up my fist, "You are a big boy, Em J…give me some…"

He bumped my fist and continued bouncing as Jay bumped his fist too. That was something we picked up from Jeremiah because he was always bumping the boys fist and telling them to give him some…

That was their big boy way of showing love and mad respect, he always said. Jeremiah made me giggle.

By the time we made our way out of the restroom, Rose and Em were walking over with Jeremiah, Alice, and JJ shortly behind. Em J squirmed and I put him down as he ran to his mom with his arms up, "I did it, mommy! I go pee pee in da potty!"

Rose swooped him up as she beamed, "I'm so proud of you, baby!"

Emmett and Rose made over him a minute before he pulled away and pointed to JJ. His mom let him down as he ran over to JJ now, as he walked in between Alice and Jeremiah.

"I big boy like you JJ! I go pee pee in da potty!"

JJ smiled and held out his fist, "Aww…you're such a big boy, Em J…gimme some…"

Em J bumped his fist before throwing his arms around him and giving him a hug, "Dat Lightenin' funny, JJ?"

JJ bounced now, "Uh huh, it was so cool, Em J!"

Then the boys flopped down to their butts on the floor and started talking about their movies as I saw Brady and Brandon walking up.

Brady was talking a hundred miles a minute as he bounced on his toes and Brandon watched him with an amused smile on his face and a sparkle in his baby blue eyes.

Jay smiled, "So, ya'll like the movie?"

Brandon nodded with a dimpled grin, "I ain't ever seen a movie like that…3D is kinda awesome…"

Brady grinned up at him, "I'll get all the Harry Potter movies and we can watch them before next weekend so we can see the new one before I leave…"

I laughed, "Brady, you've seen the new Harry Potter three times already…"

He just shrugged and Brandon nudged him, "Okay, Brady."

Brady was floating on air as he looked up at him and laughed breathlessly, "You'll love them, Brandon…"

And _my _breath caught from the way Brandon looked at him and spoke so softly, "I'm sure I will…"

This wasn't just some experimental tryst between them…they were falling in love. Jay nudged me and nodded, telling me that he saw it too.

Once my parents joined us, we all rounded up and made our way to our vehicles. My mom and dad, the boys, and Em and Rose rode together as the rest of us piled in the other SUV. Jeremiah drove with Alice up front as Brandon and Brady took the middle seats and me and Jay crawled to the back.

We were on our way out to dinner as a family and I knew I wouldn't get the chance to kiss him for awhile, so I moved to straddle his lap and he smiled as he cupped my ass and brought his lips to mine.

I moaned against his lips, they were so soft, like pillows and I never wanted to stop kissing them. His hands trailed up underneath the back of my shirt as his rough fingertips slid across my skin, urging me closer. My hands were tangled in golden curls as my lips parted and I drank him in.

The taste of his tongue filled all my senses and I was lost in bliss, encompassed in warmth and honey…

I vaguely heard Jeremiah's voice, "I'm gonna turn the hose on you two…"

And I think Brady must've smacked his arm as he said, "Leave them alone, Jeremiah…we can't always kiss the person we love so easily like you can…"

Jeremiah sighed and then he giggled, "Alright but Eddie's ass is facin' the rear view mirror so if Jay pulls his pants down, the glare will blind me and I'll wreck us all…"

I pulled away from Jay, laughing as I threw one of Em J's toys in the back at him, "My ass is not that white, Jeremiah! Just because I don't walk around all day naked like you…"

Jay giggled underneath me, "You should start walkin' round naked all the time…though this pretty porcelain ass, is mine…"

With that, he squeezed it roughly and I groaned as he pushed up into me. My eyes were now lidded as I looked into his, "Fuck them, kiss me…"

And so he did and everything else was insignificant when he was kissing me. But then he pulled away slightly and whispered, "Look between the seats in front of you…"

I moved from his lap to the seat as I pulled his shoulders to bring him down on top of me while I laid on my back. I glanced to the seat in front of me and through the crack in between them, I saw Brandon's big, strong hand laid palm up and Brady's tiny little fingers sliding in between his and lacing them.

But then I felt Jay's weight on top of me as he looked down into my eyes and whispered, "I love you, Eddie…"

Bringing my hand up to his stubble covered cheek, I smiled at the rough texture and whispered back, "I love you too, Jay…"

My arms wrapped around his neck as I pulled him down, our bodies fitting together perfectly, even in the cramped back seat. Kissing my husband, feeling his weight on me and hearing the soft moans and sighs of contentment…I could easily ignore the snickers and cat-calls around us as I got lost in the sweetest of honey…


	6. Eddie's First but not last Wet Dream

**Okay, so I don't remember who suggested this outtake but something inspired me to get it written (but I can't remember what is was that inspired me…)**

**Anyway, we're going back to the beginning in this one, the boys are 13 and have only known each other a couple months. I really enjoyed writing this, it was nice to go back and see how far they've come.**

**Oh, and I'm contributing a LL outtake to the Toys for Tots Christmas Compilation…what this means is, I will be writing an outtake of the boys first Christmas as a married couple. Those who donate $5 or more will get the compilation list of all the Christmas fics that have been submitted, including the LL one. For those who can't afford to donate (trust me, I know how tight things are right now) don't fret, it will be posted on my FF site after January 25****th****. I will put the link on my FF page as well.**

**Http : /christmaswishescompilation . Blogspot . Com /**

**Song: Waking Dream by Natalie Walker**

**Edward's POV**

It had been two months since the whirlwind that is Jasper Whitlock stormed into my life. Everything about him was brilliant and blinding like thick bolts of lightening illuminating my dark world so that it didn't seem quite as scary. He was loud and commanding like the roar of the thunder that shook the ground beneath it, an undeniable force that had rocked the foundation upon which I stood. And just like a thunderstorm, he was magnificent and beautiful but sometimes frightening…

Because he was destructive, depending on which way the wind turned, and it seemed the one he hurt most was himself.

The alcohol…the pills…the temper…the nonchalant, 'don't give a fuck' attitude…

You would think, given my past, that those things would make me want to run from him in the opposite direction but it was those things that drew me in deeper.

Jasper was fascinating to me because I knew he only used those things to try and help himself escape the world he lived in…I understood because that's what I had been doing for as long as I could remember…trying to escape from my world…

_Maybe we could escape together…_

Sighing, I pull my knees to my chin as I stare out my bedroom window at the storm howling through the trees. It was thoughts like those that would get me into trouble…

I just couldn't help it…since he had kissed me a couple of weeks ago, my thoughts were saturated with the way my lips tingled for what seemed like days and how my heart raced as every breath of air I took grew more labored and strained but it was never any pain or panic I felt…only blissful indulgence because his scent lingered in the air and on my tongue…

There is nothing I wouldn't do to feel his lips against mine again…

The rumble of the thunder wakes me from my daydreams and I think I must be seeing things as the lightening flashes, revealing honey curls dripping heavy around his perfect face…

My heart starts to beat again as a smile comes to my face and when the dark sky gets cut with white lightening again, I see his dimpled grin looking back. He starts up the tree as I push open the window and run to my bathroom to grab a few towels.

When I returned, he was climbing through the window, whisper cursing as he turned to shut it back. I ran over and handed him the towels as I smiled, "Hey Jay…"

He grinned back, deep dimples and flushed cheeks, "Hey Eddie, sorry to just drop in on ya like this…"

I shrugged, "No big deal…"

Running the towel through his messy honey curls, he sighed, "Is it cool if I crash here for a few hours…I don't feel like goin home…"

Honestly, I'd be happy if he never went back to his house.

But I didn't want to appear too excited so I just nodded and gave him a crooked grin, "Yes, of course it would be very cool, Jay…"

He started giggling, low and soft and I could feel my cheeks heat up as I wrapped my arms around myself and whispered, "Are you laughing at me?"

Looking down at the ground, I heard him sigh before I felt his cold hand on my shoulder and then I saw his baby blue bloodshot eyes as he ducked his head down to look at me.

"I wasn't laughin at you, Eddie, I swear…shit, man, I just think…I don't know…you're funny…"

I noticed his cheeks turning red as he stammered over his words but didn't lose the grin, "I like hangin out with you cuz you make me laugh but not cuz I'm thinkin anything bad of you…I mean, you think I'm funny, right?"

Nodding my head, I raised my eyes and whispered, "Yes, I think I understand what you're saying…"

His calloused fingers squeezed my shoulder and for a moment I felt them brush against my neck as he smiled, "Of course you do cuz you're, like, really smart and shit…but ya know, instead of saying yes, most kids just say yeah…so like, when someone asks you if somethin' is cool with ya…just say 'yeah, that's cool'…cool?"

The feel of his fingers on my skin was distracting, "Yes…I mean, um…yeah, that's cool, Jay…I understand…"

He sighed deeply as the deep blue in his eyes was mesmerizing as he whispered, "You really don't gotta try and change to be more like them, Eddie…there's nothin wrong with the way you are…"

My cheeks burned even hotter as I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile, "So, um…do you want to take a shower and I could get you some dry clothes?"

He groaned and the sound caused me to break out in shivers, "Yeah, Eddie, that's sounds perfect…_see_…smart and shit…"

I chuckled as I turned to go to my dresser. I pulled him out some sweats and a t-shirt he had left a few nights before…he didn't have any boxers here though because he didn't wear them all the time…he said it promoted dick growth to let it hang free…

Jasper really was funny.

Handing him the clothes, I hear his belly rumbling and I wondered if that bitch of a mother fed him. She had obviously let him drink or do whatever drugs he had done before coming over because his drawl was thicker than usual and his eyes were red and glassy.

I hated his mother, though I hadn't even met her yet. Jasper didn't like for me to go to his house so the few times I did get to see it, she was never there. The house was always dirty, except his room which he kept surprisingly clean for a teenage boy…I thanked God for my mother because she always kept everything so neat and clean, even my room.

But what I did know about her, I didn't like. I knew that Jasper often came over in the middle of the night, hungry and tired because he couldn't sleep at his house with the 'company' his mother kept and her drugs were more important than food apparently.

I knew that his mother's boyfriend talked to him like he was trash and she just laughed about it, too stoned to feel bad about the child she drug around like used furniture.

"Eddie?"

His voice snapped me from my thoughts as I looked up at him, "Yes, Jay?"

He smiled softly as his hand cupped my chin and tilted my head up so he could look into my eyes, "You okay?"

Even streaked angry crimson, his blue eyes were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

I wanted to look away as my cheeks burned but he wouldn't let me so I smiled shyly and whispered, "Yes…I mean, yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Nodding his head, he grinned wide and chuckled, "Yeah, I'm right as rain, dude…so, uh…what about your mama and daddy, they won't hear me in the shower will they?"

"Um, no, mom's asleep and dad is working until morning…"

Running a hand through his wet honey curls, he grinned, "Cool…I'll be out in a minute, thanks Eddie."

I shrugged and smiled, "No problem, Jay."

Once he was behind the bathroom door, I snuck downstairs quietly to heat up some leftovers for him. As the food was heating, I made us both glasses of Mississippi Mud before carefully hauling everything back upstairs.

He was still in the shower so I set his food and milk down on my piano bench as I took my seat across from it on the windowsill. Sipping my chocolate milk, I stared out my window at the storm and wondered what school was going to be like this year. I really hoped that Jasper would still want to be my friend once it started back. He was already popular in the neighborhood and he always let me tag along…I was worried that he'd leave me behind once school started but he swore he wouldn't and I tried my best to believe him.

I really did hope we would be best friends forever, as corny as that sounded.

The door opened and he walked out in his sweats and tee, barefooted and damp curls hanging over his eyes as he sniffed the air before spotting the food.

He grinned, wide and beautiful, as he took his place on the piano bench and looked over at me, "God, I'm fuckin starvin…thanks, Eddie…"

I just smiled and nodded as he began to scarf down the food like he hadn't eaten since the last time he came over.

He ate every crumb and sighed as he finished the last of his milk, "Ugh, thanks, Eddie, that really hit the spot…"

Taking another sip of my milk, I shrugged, "No biggie, Jay…"

Scooting back on the sill, I made room for him to sit across from me so he could smoke a cigarette. After he ate, he always smoked if possible.

Moments later, he was sitting across from me blowing the smoke out of the window. I wanted to say something to him about his bad habits but I was too afraid to lose him. He was my only friend and I couldn't risk pushing him away.

His eyelids were heavy over dark purple circles underneath and he was uncharacteristically quiet as I watched the puff of smoke billow out into the night sky. The more I got to know Jasper, the more I worried about him.

In just the last few months, he had become the single most important thing in my life…the one thing that binded me to the real world. I had lived in my own made up world for so long that reality and fantasy sometimes blended so seamlessly together that I questioned which one was true…but Jay was so gut wrenchingly real…brutal and raw and bleeding but so honest and genuine that I wanted to stay in the real world with him for as long as I could.

His raspy southern drawl broke me from my thoughts as he smiled, "What's goin on in that head of yours, Eddie? What ya thinkin bout?"

Looking out the window, I shrugged and mumbled, "Nothing really…just…school…"

We were both sitting with our backs against our prospective ledges, knees up, and feet almost touching until he did reach out and push his toes against mine. He was a very touchy feely boy but I think that was one of the reasons he was helping me so much. Before him, the only people that weren't afraid to touch me without malice were my parents but from day one, he never shied away from me. An arm on my shoulder or a hand squeezing it, his rough fingertips on my chin or foot nudging my own…it was nice to be touched and know that he wouldn't hurt me…that for whatever reason, he wanted that connection with me.

He didn't really give me the choice to back away or cringe and honestly, I was so in awe of him that I relished the small touches that burned through my body and reminded me that I was among the living because I couldn't deny the way my heart raced and the blood pumped through my veins…

And I was so grateful for that.

"Eddie? You know I'm not goin nowhere when school starts, right? I really don't care if nobody else in this whole fuckin town likes me but you…you're the only real person I know…the only one I really care to know…"

The fire had crept from my toes to my cheeks as I looked into his tired blue eyes, "I know, Jay, I just…being my friend won't be easy for you once school begins…nobody really likes me…"

Now he grinned, deep dimples and pink lips, "Nothin worth havin is easy to get and _I _like you…so fuck the rest of 'em…with your smarts and me bein all badass and shit, that school won't know what hit 'em…and besides, I'm fuckin loyal…like a lap dog…"

His tongue hangs out as he pants like a dog and I chuckle but had to look away because all I can think of is that tongue has been in my mouth…

It makes me feel weird and nervous and a little light headed but for some reason, I really like it.

I get lost in a moment with memories of that kiss and how I had never felt anything so exhilarating and freeing and mind numbing as the taste of honey that lingered on my tongue for days…

But when I look up at him, his head is back against the wall, damp curls falling in front of his closed eyes as he lets out a deep breath and I worry about where he's at right now, so I nudge his toes with mine and whisper, "Are you okay, Jay? I mean, really okay, no bullshit…"

His head falls forward and curls cover his face as he scrubs his hand over them before taking one last drag of his cigarette and flicking it outside.

"Yeah, man…I'm just really fuckin tired…"

I push the window shut and stand, stretching my arms above my head and yawning, I whisper, "Well then come to bed, Jay…get some rest…"

Moments later, we're curled up in bed and my back is facing him when I hear him whisper, "Eddie?"

I smile as I turn to face him, "Yes?"

His arm is curled underneath his cheek and his curls are splayed out all over the pillow and I briefly wonder how they would feel between my fingers…

"Do you ever think about…ya know, the future and shit? Like where we'll be five years from now?"

Jay's mind always ran a hundred miles a minute so it didn't surprise me that he had been thinking about the future. But I was certain that what he thought about and what I thought about were two very different things…

So I just shrugged and whispered, "I don't know, Jay…I have a hard enough time dealing with the present…what do you think about?"

He smiled lazily as his eyes closed, "I don't know…stupid shit, I guess…"

I feel my lids grow heavy but I'm curious so I ask, "When you think about it…am I still there?"

The low chuckle shakes the bed lightly as his hand reaches out and grabs mine, squeezing it softly as he opens his baby blue eyes and whispers, "You're the only thing I know for sure will be there, Eddie…you're my best friend…always will be, no matter what…"

It's moments like these, when it feels like he's looking right through me into my tarnished and tattered soul as he reassures me that he still likes me even though I'm broken, that I wish like hell he would kiss me again.

Because it really truly feels like something is there between us…something special that goes beyond friendship but I know it's all in my head.

Still…

I drift off with his hand on mine, not holding it but just lying there, reminding me that he's still here…

And I really do hope he always will be…

_I open my eyes to blackness and it feels like it swallows me whole…the nothingness consuming and constricting…_

_I'm alone…all alone…_

_Gasping, I fall to my knees as a wave of panic rips through…_

_Then there's a rumbling, low and deep…the earth shakes around me and I fear that the deepest pit of Hell is opening up to swallow me whole…_

_But then the lightening flashes…thick streaks of brilliant white light illuminating the now familiar room…dirty dark walls covered in child like flowers and stars constructed of cheap construction paper and scotch tape…_

_Rising from my knees, I balance myself and step softly, praying that the floor boards won't creak beneath my toes and awaken the demon from his slumber…_

_Tip-toeing gingerly to the window, I know exactly how many steps it takes to get there…I've been living in this room for so long that I don't need the luxury of light to know exactly where I'm going._

_Once I feel the splintered ledge beneath my fingertips, I sigh in relief and wait as the thunder rumbles lowly again, reminding me that I'm not alone…then the brilliant blinding light showcases the angel outside my window. _

_I see him sitting there, barefoot in worn blue jeans, on a thick, dark branch like it was the most natural thing in the world. His damp honey curls blow gently in the wind, around his face as he smiles at me…_

_And it feels almost foreign to smile back but I just can't stop myself._

_He presses his palm to the glass and I can see the scars and rough skin clearly in the dead of night…_

_I press mine against the glass, wishing that I could remove the thing that separated us but knowing that I could never open that window…I had tried a million times…_

_I just wasn't strong enough…_

_Everything goes black again but I'm no longer afraid…he's still here…I can feel him…_

_The muffled whisper of his voice lingers in the air, making me intoxicated with desire to get that damn window open and be with him…but deep down I know that even if I could escape this room, I was much too terrified to go out into that world…into the unknown…_

"_Come on, Eddie…open the window…come out here with me…"_

_Wrapping my free arm around myself, I let out a strangled sob as I whisper, "I c-can't…"_

_The lightening flashes and I see him again, his blue eyes pleading with me as he presses both palms to the window and he begs, "Please, Eddie…if you won't come out, let me in…"_

_I can see his wings, luminous and ethereal, fanning out behind him and something moves me as the air fills my lungs. I gasp as a burst of fire through my veins springs me forward into action._

_My fingers grasp the bottom of the window as I use every bit of strength I have to budge it as I cry out, "Help me, Jay…please, I want to let you in but I can't do it alone…"_

_I see him mimic my actions and moments later, the window begins to budge…a few inches up and our fingers are laced together, pushing it the rest of the way up with impressive force._

_He grins as he hops in and throws his arms around me, his wings wrapping tightly around my body, the warmth a welcome change from the bitter cold I'm accustomed to._

_It's so dark that I can't see him but I can most certainly feel him…soft curls against my cheek…warm breath on my neck…his strong arms holding onto me tightly until I'm compelled to do the same._

_But then the growling of demons shakes the floor beneath me and the only thing I can see is the red glow behind my bedroom door, fire seeping in around the edges…_

_He grabs my hand and pulls me to the window ledge, "We gotta get outta here, Eddie…"_

_Resisting, I pull back and shake my head, "I can't, Jay…"_

_His hands tug at his hair as he pleads, "If you stay, they'll hurt you…"_

_The lightening flashes and I look out into the storm, past the stone edge of the building and see some boys playing basketball in the street and I gasp, "But they'll hurt me too…"_

_He's behind me as the door rattles and shakes, the laughter of the demons echoing the small room as Jay wraps his wings around me and whispers, "There's only two ways out, Eddie…I'll gladly walk through the fire with you, if that's the way you wanna go but there's a better way to burn…look out that window again…past the kids playing…past all the winding roads and hills and valleys…"_

_My eyes strained but then I see it…a truck nestled in the woods…the snow blowing all around but the heat blazing from inside and sweaty handprints all over the dirty windows…_

_I gasp again as the fire rushes through me and I open my eyes to see his blue ones above…he's much older with a stubble covered chin but those honey curls are still the same and his blue eyes seem even deeper…_

_I'm lying with my back against the leather seat of his truck and he's nestled snugly on top of me…our coats undone, shirts wrinkled and jeans lay open and despite the snow and ice surrounding us, I was burning from the inside out…_

_Closing my eyes, I let the new sensations take over…the frenetic heat and strength of his body on mine…the light scratch of the stubble against my cheek and his honey drawl dripping slow and lazy in my ear, "This is where my mind runs off too when I think of our future, Eddie…it's such a better way to burn, baby…I know you ain't ever felt this before but I can teach ya…if ya want…"_

_I'm so caught up in the scorching flames that I can barely whisper, "Yes…I mean, yeah…"_

_And then I'm lost in the fire as his lips move to mine while his body moves slow but hard above me…_

_The heat and the sweat…the strained pants of hot breath against flushed skin…the squeaking of skin against leather as he pushes and pulls against my body in the most pleasurable of ways…_

_And when I open my eyes, I'm standing on the ledge of my window, Jay's hand reaching out to mine from the branch as I rasp out, "I'm going to fall, Jay…"_

_But rough fingertips grip mine as he smiles and whispers, "I've got wings, dude…we'll float all the way down…"_

_With a breathless laugh, I close my eyes and take a leap of faith, knowing that no matter how much pain exists outside this window…that pleasure unlike anything I've ever known exists here too…_

_And just like he said, I'm floating…_

_When I open my eyes again, I'm lying in the new fallen snow, Jay beside me as we both laugh giddy and euphoric…_

_But then I look down and giggle as I lean up on my elbows, the snow falling thick all around, "I'm all wet, Jay…"_

I awake with a gasp as I shake the feeling of free falling and floating and the pleasure and high…

Jay's still fast asleep next to me, hand squeezing mine and a smile on his face as he mumbles, "Where ya goin, babe…"

I hate that he's holding my hand and dreaming about some random girl…

As I shift to sit up, I feel it in my underwear…cold and wet…

_Oh my god did I pee in the bed?_

Ripping my hand from his, I jump and run to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I'm shaking as I shut the toilet lid and sit down…my pajama pants are wet and cold but I'm just trying to hold myself together because I've never done this before. It's bad enough I have graphic nightmares and now I have to worry about peeing all over Jay too…

I close my eyes tight when I hear the laughter echoing the small room and pinch the bridge of my nose as I whisper, "Just go away…leave me alone…"

The door rattles and I rock back and forth, shaking my head, willing them to go away but I hear his honey voice, panicked and pleading, "Eddie? Let me in!"

Rasping out a 'no', I shake my head over and over…he can't see me like this…

_He'll never want you…_

I need to release the pressure before I pop so I blindly reach underneath the sink, looking for the razor blade when the door jars open, causing me to jump and I'm looking at Jasper standing there, wide eyed as he sees me.

At this moment, I'm burning with embarrassment as he whispers, "What's goin on? You just took off and I could hear you whisperin' somethin…you're not cuttin are you, cuz you promised me you wouldn't…"

My body is trembling and my knees give out as I fall to sit on the floor, a weak shaking mess but he's right beside me as soon as I fall, easing me down gently as he holds me tight.

I'm trying so hard not to cry because he can't see me like this…he'll never want to be around me again…

"Please tell me what's wrong, Eddie…I can't help you if you don't let me in…so let me in…"

I don't want to tell him…I don't want to feel the embarrassment and shame but his hand brushes my thigh as he sits next to me and he whispers, "You're all wet? What did you…ooohhh…"

The dawn of realization washes over him and I pull away and bury my face in my knees as I whisper, "I understand if you don't want to stay over anymore, Jay…I've never…this has never happened before…I've never…wetted myself before…"

But then his hand is on my knee, squeezing gently as he speaks, "Eddie, you didn't pee the bed…"

I lift my eyes and sniffle, "I didn't?"

He smiles gently and shakes his head, "No…what were you dreaming about? A girl?"

Not wanting to lie to him, I shrug and whisper, "A blonde…"

Nodding his head, he smiles, "Pull your underwear away from your body…"

I look at him like he's the crazy one, and he nudges me foot, "C'mon, dude…"

Resigning to his odd request, I reach inside my pajama pants and grip the band of my underwear but when I pull it away from my body, I let out a squeak as it pulls at my skin.

A fresh wave of panic rushes through me but he grips my shoulders and looks into my eyes with a wide, dimpled smile, "Relax, Eddie…you just had a wet dream…it's completely normal so don't freak out…"

Trying to keep my fears at bay, I rasp out, "It is?"

He nods and pulls his knees up so that they're leaning next to mine as he smiles, "Yeah, dude, totally normal…it's like…you know what it is to cum, right? Like have an orgasm?"

Technically I know what it is, I have read some medical journals about the human body but I had never experienced anything like it before. So I nod, slowly and he lets out a breath, "That's all a wet dream is…you dreamt about some pretty little blond that got your blood all pumpin and you had an orgasm in your sleep and came in your pants…that's it, Eddie…no big deal, we all do it…"

My nerves begin to steady as I look up at him and whisper, "Have you had a wet dream before?"

He chuckles, low and deep, with a beautiful dimpled grin, "Yeah…I keep dreamin' bout this crazy little redhead…"

And now we're both chuckling and it's amazing to me, once again, how he has saved me from myself.

I briefly try to think of all the redheaded girls he might know but the cold, sticky, wetness in my pants is beginning to annoy me and I'm suddenly very, very sleepy. So I yawn and whisper, "I guess I should take a quick shower before getting back in bed…"

He smiles and nudges my shoulder, "I'll go grab you some pants, just leave the door unlocked this time…"

As I stand, I raise an eyebrow and ask, "How did you get in here anyway, Jay? The door was locked…"

That cocky smirk comes to his face as he looks down at me, "Doors like that are easy to pop open and you know I'm like an evil genius, Eddie…"

I think he's more like an angel but instead, I just smile and nod, "Thanks, Jay…"

And the smirk fades into a grin as he whispers, "Anytime, Eddie…"

Very soon, I'm freshly showered and back in bed. Jasper's already half asleep next to me but he mumbles out a soft, "Sweet dreams, Eddie…"

Lying my head on the pillow, my eyes are so heavy but I chance one last glance at his face before drifting off to dream land.

I whisper, "Good night, Jay…and by the way, when I think of the future…you're there too…"

The last thing I remember is rough fingertips sliding over my hand…


	7. Christmas Lessons Learned

**A big thanks to everyone who donated to the Toys4Tots! Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and I hope you enjoy the story of Eddie and Jay's first Christmas as married men. Also wanna say thanks to Lisa for creating me a gorgeous banner for this outtake. The banner is in my photobucket, link is on my profile. And thank you to Laura for doing such a wonderful thing at Christmas time and making lots of little boys and girls holiday brighter.**

**Jay's POV**

Ever since the merry little Cullen clan had waltzed into my life…my Christmases seem to get better and better every year. When I was younger I would dwell on everything I had missed growing up but I was older now, and wiser…and this year, I was gonna have the best Christmas of my entire life cuz it was the very first one I would celebrate as a married man.

There was something about that I still really liked…being a married man.

My whole life, this was what I wanted, to have a family, be a husband, and have someone who would love me no matter what stupid shit I did…

"Are you sure you want a real tree, Jay?"

Looking up at the behemoth of a tree, I grin, "Yup, this is it, our first tree…"

He scratches at his hair before pulling the knit cap down a little further, "But, Jay, I don't think it will fit in our apartment…it's really…really big…"

I grin and throw my arm around his shoulder, "Thanks, babe, but you don't have to keep tellin me how big it is…I know…I can tell by the way you walk…"

Rolling his eyes, he flashes me a crooked smile with pink cheeks, "Funny, Jay…but seriously, honey, I don't think it will fit. You remember A Christmas Story, right? We won't be able to put an angel on top…"

Sticking out my bottom lip, I pouted as I looked down at him with big blue eyes, "But we're the Cullen-Whitlock's…we got big dicks and big trees…that's how we roll, Ed…"

He chuckled and grabbed my scarf, pulling me forward as he leaned and pressed his lips to mine, mumbling, "You're absolutely ridiculous…"

Once he kissed me into submission, I grinned goofily and pointed to an equally perfect but smaller tree.

Happy with my compromise, we pay for our very first Christmas tree and tie it down in the back of my truck before heading back home. We both giggle like idiots as we carry it into the building onto the elevator.

I lean over to kiss his sweet red lips and mumble, "Is that a tree trunk or are you just happy to see me?"

He giggles against my lips, "I really have missed you…"

Pullin away, I grin from ear to ear, "I missed you too, Eddie, but classes are done till after the holidays and this is gonna be the best Christmas ever…"

Biting that cherry lip, his cheeks were almost just as red as he looked up at me with eyes that made the tree look drab in comparison, "We're both off tomorrow…maybe we could hang out, go ice skating and play in the snow?"

I remembered back to the first time we played in the snow…

"Can I play with _you _in the snow?"

Rolling those pretty green eyes, he laughed, "I thought you didn't even like the snow, Jay…"

But I just smirked and raised an eyebrow, "So you're denyin' me then?"

And he smirked right back, "Never, baby…"

_You're __**so **__gettin' fucked tonight in front of the Christmas tree…_

Once the tree is in the house, we start shedding our coats and I start to strip down but Edward raises an eyebrow and smirks, "Um, Jay? I wouldn't get naked to put up the tree…you know, pine needles and such…"

_Oh…I forgot about that. I never had a real tree before…I was used to just fannin' that shit out…_

So, we change out of our wet clothes into sweats, t-shirts, and slippers (his R2-D2 and mine Master Yoda). He goes to the kitchen to make us some hot chocolate and I run down to the parking garage to get the box of Christmas decorations Esme sent home with us. She used the excuse that she just wanted to buy new stuff this year but I'm sure the fact that Eddie and I spent nearly a hundred dollars on cool ornaments like Cartman in a Santa hat, every superhero known to man, and the infamous leg lamp from A Christmas Story, influenced her decision.

I got a few weird looks from the slippers but I could totally rock these fuckers and still be cool as hell…

Setting the box on the floor, I shuddered from the cold and Eddie handed me a mug of cocoa, "Here you go, babe."

"Thanks, Ed."

We both settled in on the floor and began pulling out the decorations from the box, including the tree stand Big Daddy C had given us. It took us awhile to figure out how to use it but after a few curse words a couple ill-placed pine needles, we finally got the tree upright.

"It's crooked, Jay."

Crawling out from under it, I curse a few more times before I stand to take a look. It's crooked as hell but I need a cigarette.

"It's fine, Eddie…gives it character…"

He rolls his eyes and smiles, "Go smoke your cigarette, Jay…I'll put a book underneath it and we'll just cover it with a tree skirt…that's what dad does…"

"Awesome…" I lean over and kiss his forehead before grabbing my coat and stepping out on the patio.

While I'm out there, my phone starts playin, 'Mama Said Knock You Out,' and I smile, "Hey Mama C, what's up?

"Hey, honey, did you boys get your tree?"

"Yup, we've got it up and are getting ready to decorate it."

"I packed a few extra little trinkets in the box for you to decorate a bit around your apartment. I think you'll like them. And I was calling because I hoped you boys might be able to come over sometime this weekend and help me get the lights up around the house? Carlisle is working so much that I hate to ask him on the little time he has off…"

"Sure thing, mama…we're not workin' tomorrow, we were gonna go ice skatin and stuff so we can do that in Forks, maybe go see Jeremiah and JJ..."

"Thank you so much, sweetheart. Well, I have to finish dinner before Carlisle gets home but I'll see you boys tomorrow. Tell Edward I love him, and I love you Jasper…"

"I will. Love you too, mama. See you tomorrow."

I stepped back inside to tell Eddie and saw him sittin on the floor staring down and smiling.

He turned and held up a picture in a pretty red Christmas frame, "Look what mom sent…"

My heart went a-flutter…yeah that's what I said…

"Aww, it's us…"

It was a picture of us on our very first Christmas we spent together at 14, technically the day after but it was Christmas for me. The year before he had been gone to Chicago to visit Esme's family. But that year, they got back late Christmas night and I shared my second kiss with Eddie in my old room and my third kiss in his kitchen before celebratin with his family later that night.

We were in the driveway playin' with the new basketball I got and Eddie was guardin me…

"_God, I hate the snow…"_

_His cheeks were red as he panted out breaths of white air into the cold Twilight, "You had fun today, Jay, and besides, the cold weather suits you…makes your blue eyes seem even brighter and your honey curls bouncier…"_

_That made me drop the ball as his eyes went wide and I grinned like an idiot, "Honey curls, huh? Are you sayin I'm hot?"_

_His whole face was as bright red as Rudolph's shiny nose as he stammered, "No, um…I mean, you're attractive, of course, for a guy but…that's not what I…I mean, I didn't…"_

_And I decided to take it easy on him 'fore he threw himself into a panic attack. I threw my arm around his shoulder and grinned a mile wide as I whispered into his ear, "It's okay, Eddie, I think you're pretty hot too…ya know, for a guy…"_

She must've taken the picture at that exact moment cuz his face was turned to mine, both of us with blistering grins and I remember fightin the urge to kiss him. I ran my thumb over the photo and smiled, "I still think you're pretty hot, ya know, for a guy…"

And his cheeks turned that familiar crimson as he looked down for a moment before raising those pretty green eyes to mine, "And I still think the winter suits you…your honey curls are bouncier and your blue eyes are brighter…"

I set the picture down on the end table before shruggin off my coat and straddling him where he sat on the floor. Putting my arms around his neck, he wrapped his around my waist as I smiled, "Bet you could make these honey curls bounce all over the place…"

Maybe he could fuck my god damn brains out in front of the Christmas tree…didn't really matter to me _who _was doin the fuckin, just as long as there _was _fuckin…

With a soft laugh, he pressed his lips to mine and mumbled as he laid me back on the floor, "Mmm…bet I…"

But then I felt them, the tiny prick of jolly Christmas pine needles in my back and I jumped, "Ow, son of a whore!"

He smiled sheepishly as he helped me take my shirt off, "Sorry, Jay, maybe we should wait till we're done trimming the tree and run the vacuum…"

I nodded and grinned, "Kiss it better, Eddie…"

With a soft chuckle, he pressed his velvet lips in various places all along my back before resting his cheek against my shoulder and sighing, "Mmm…my angel…come on, baby…let's get our tree done…"

A few hours later and after a break to watch Elf, our perfect tree was…well, perfect…for us anyway.

Eddie chuckled as he took out his phone and snapped a picture, "Brady would love this tree…"

He sent him the picture and a few second later he showed me the text Brady sent back…

_Awesome! But where's Harry?_

Eddie laughed as he typed back.

**Do they even make Harry Potter Christmas ornaments?**

_If they don't, they should. Kick ass tree my lovely boys. Enjoy the yuletide log…and by log I mean each other's penises…and by that I mean enjoy fucking each other silly underneath the tree…oh and watch out for pine needles __J_

Then a minute later we got another text from Brady…

_Sorry, Suzie makes really strong eggnog…it's yummy though…_

I sure hoped that boy would find someone tough enough to handle him cuz he was a feisty little thing.

By the time we got everything cleaned up, it was late so I stepped outside on the patio for one last square. But when I came in, my hubby was passed out cold on the couch. I figured we had two weeks before Christmas so that was plenty of time to nail him in front of the tree.

We both had our final classes that mornin so I guess my boy was plumb tuckered out. Slidin my arms underneath him, I whisper, "C'mon, Eddie…bed time, darlin…"

He groaned but snuggled into my chest as I lifted him up and carried him to bed. I fell asleep wrapped around my perfect husband as I watched the snow fall through our window.

WINTER WONDERLAND

The next mornin I woke to the smell of bacon and blueberry pancakes. Throwin back the blanket, I walk out into the kitchen in nothin but my slippers, scratchin' my rumbly tummy, "Mornin, babe…"

He grins and raises an eyebrow, "Good morning, Jay. Are you sure it's a good idea to be naked in the kitchen when I'm cooking bacon?"

I just chuckle as I wrap an arm around his waist and pull his sweatpants covered dick against mine, "Thought you might wanna big sausage to go with that bacon…"

And then he busts into a fit of laughter as he sets down the spatula and hangs his arms around my neck, "God, you were right when you said your lines would get worse…"

Now I smirked and pressed him into the counter and pushed my mornin wood against his awakenin cock, "I guess it's a good thing I have such a big dick then, seemin' my lines are so corny…"

His hand now wrapped around it as he smiled up at me with flushed cheeks, "It's a very good thing…"

.

.

.

After an especially nice breakfast together, we piled in his Volvo and took off for Forks. A couple hours later, we were pullin down that familiar drive to the Cullen's. Esme greeted us at the door with fresh coffee and hot cocoa before puttin us to work on her Christmas decorations.

However, the Cullen's had a huge house and two hours later, we barely made a dent. Luckily, I saw Jeremiah's truck pullin down the drive as I started down the ladder. Followed by Em's SUV. Jeremiah got out, holdin JJ close all snuggled up in a blanket as he threw an arm around me, "Hey Cuz, good to see ya…"

Eddie walked up and held out his arms to a bright eyed JJ, "Come to Uncle Eddie, little man…"

JJ went to him and pointed up at the house, "Dat Kissmas, Uncle Eddie…it's so purdy…"

Brady, Alice, and Suzie jumped outta the backseat of Em's SUV and Brady smiled as he tousled JJ's hair, "You just wait, JJ, Uncle Brady is going to make it even more pretty…would you and Em J like to help us?"

Em J's little chubby arms reached out for Brady, "Me Beady…me…"

Brady took him and the girls and little ones went inside the house while the men stayed outside and worked…mostly anyway.

There may or may not have been a snowball war, I'm not at liberty to say…

But a few hours later, the house was shining so damn bright that satellites would be able to track that shit from Jupiter…

And when we all walked in and started shedding our coats and boots, we took note that the girls and Brady had been hard at work on the inside. The house looked like somethin out of a magazine, except for the toys strewn across the floor and a very naked JJ runnin' through the livin room, yellin, "But I don't wanna wear a diaper mamaw….I wanna wear big boy underwear…"

I smiled as I watched Jeremiah start to chase him and Eddie wrapped his arm around my waist, lying his head on my shoulder and smiling up at me, "I just love our family…"

I laid my cheek against his damp bronze hair and smiled back, "Yeah, me too…"

.

.

.

Later that night, me, Eddie, Brady and Suzie were at an ice skatin rink in Port Angeles. I sat there with those death contraptions on my feet and suddenly remembered why we had only been ice skatin once together…I fuckin suck at it…

Suzie took to it right away and her and Brady were out there on the ice, spinnin around and goofin off while Edward looked down at me from my seat on the bench, "Come on, Jay, please just give it another try…it's fun…"

I raised an eyebrow and huffed, "I can't even walk in 'em, how the hell am I supposed to skate in 'em, Eddie? Men ain't meant to wear high heels…"

Brady hollered out, "I wear high heeled boots all the time, Jay…"

I hollered back, "Well I'm not as dainty as you!"

He just smiled as he skated over to me, "Not many people can be as fabulous as me Jay but stop being a pansy and stand up…come on, Eddie will get one side, I'll get the other…"

I tried to stop them but Brady is a lot stronger than he looks and once I was on my feet, I was kinda at their mercy. I had one arm around each of their shoulders as I groaned, "You guys are assholes…"

They just chuckled, evil little twinks they were…

Well, Eddie wasn't really a twink, he just had twink-like tendencies…

Eddie just smirked at me, "I learned that from my hubby…"

That made me chuckle and I gave him a little kiss. Eddie has always been the sweetest guy I knew but when I first met him he would never stand up for himself. He was still a sweetheart but now he knew how to be an asshole if need be…I was pretty proud of that.

Brady chuckled, "We're supposed to be teaching you how to skate, Jay, not making out…though if you two are up for that kind of thing…"

Eddie pushed his shoulder from behind me and laughed, "Nice to see Pervy has made an appearance just in time for the holidays…"

Brady shrugged, "I think it's all this yuletide merriment…oh and this giant candy cane Suzie gave me that I spent all morning sucking on…"

Edward's eyes went wide as I burst out laughin and the next thing I know, all three of us are sprawled out on the ice.

This is exactly why I didn't wanna ice skate.

Eddie and Brady were chuckling as I rubbed my ass, "Ow…I think I broke my tushy…I think I need a doctor…"

Rolling his pretty green eyes, he smiled, "I hardly think you need a doctor…"

Obviously, he wasn't a mind reader cuz I raised an eyebrow and looked straight at him, "No, Eddie…_I really need a doctor_…"

His eyes got wide as realization hit him. Then he chuckled and leaned forward to give me a kiss as he mumbled, "Doctor Love has the cure for what ails you…"

I bring my hand up and tangle it in that crazy hair, knockin his wool cap off as I slide my tongue between them cherry lips when I hear Brady get up and snicker, "You guys are so weird…hey Suzie, wait up!"

With Edward's tongue in my mouth, I had a moment of perfect clarity and knew what I had to do…

Leanin him back on the ice, I crawl between his legs and kiss him hard, of course he doesn't object but then I hear the sound I was waiting for.

A throat clearing and a man saying, "Excuse me but I have to ask you gentlemen to leave, that's entirely inappropriate…"

Eddie pushes me away with a gasp and a face as scarlet as Santa's coat as he tries to straighten his wrinkled clothes. I just start laughin and smile up at the man, "Sure thing, sir, we'll leave right away…"

The guy stomps off and Eddie narrows his eyes at me with that mouth wide open, only temptin me to go back in for seconds before he breathes out in disbelief, "You did that on purpose so you wouldn't have to skate!"

I just chuckle and he stands up, leavin me still on the cold hard ice.

Then he smirks down at me, "You really shouldn't have done that…"

And I'm watchin the finest backside in all the land skatin away from me.

_Holy shit, is he really leavin me here?_

So, I cup my hands around my mouth and begin yellin, "Ed? Yo Eddie? C'mon, man, I'm sorry! You can't just leave me here! You never leave a soldier behind!"

Finally he stopped and turned, with a roll of those beautiful mistletoe green eyes, he skates back and holds out a hand. I take it as he helps me to my feet and I cling to him for dear life cuz I was bein serious when I said my tushy needed a house call from Doctor Love.

As he was helping me back to the bench so we could change into our shoes, he sighs, "If you didn't want to come…"

I cut him off, "But I did, babe, I'm sorry, I just forgot how hard this is…"

He looked up at me with that awesome crooked grin, "It's okay, Jay…it is kind of nice being able to totally dominate you on the rink…"

And there's my in, as I lean over and whisper, "How bout I let you dominate me sexually when we get home, pretty boy?"

Chuckling, he nods and whispers, "You've been a naughty boy, Jay, and right before Christmas too…I think somebody deserves a spanking…"

But for a moment, I forget that I'm on death blades and the excitement of that paddle against my ass makes me attempt to jump a little bit and we're both down again.

Now we're both laughin like idiots as I rub my tushy and chuckle, "We might have to hold off on that spankin for awhile, Eddie…"

· SILENT NIGHT ·

After Doctor Love took fantastic care of me on Saturday night, Sunday came and my tushy was well enough for Naked Wing and Football Sunday, as I dubbed every Sunday at the Cullen-Whitlock house.

I always invited everyone over to watch the game but for some reason, no one ever showed up. But I was smarter than the average bear cuz this was my diabolical plan to make sure I got at least one whole day of Eddie all to myself every week…at least during football season.

As long as I spent the day, naked, eatin' wings and watchin' football with my equally naked hubby, I was a happy man.

The rest of the week flew by as both of us still worked and spent some time Christmas shoppin with our friends. But I still didn't know what I wanted to give Eddie for Christmas.

I had written a song but it was kinda silly and I really didn't wanna ruin Christmas by singin him some lame ass song. And now it was Friday night and only a week till Christmas and I was still clueless. I mean, I had gotten him a few silly gifts like a stuffed Pooh Bear to cuddle up with on nights I had to work late, these awesome custom underwear from a website Brady told me about where I had 'Property of Jay' airbrushed across the ass, and of course, a new 'lightsaber' to add to the collection but I hadn't found anything that was good enough.

So, when Suzie, Alice, and Brady showed up to go to the club that night, I was deep in thought, though they did temporarily distract me.

Opening the door, I couldn't help but grin ear to ear, "Holy shit, what did you guys do to make Santa kick ya out the north pole?"

Suzie was dressed in a short red dress, white fur trim and black thigh high boots and topped off her long blonde curls with a little Santa hat. Alice and Brady were dressed like elves, Alice with a short green skirt and Brady in green hot pants, green thigh high boots and matching little elf caps.

Moving aside, they walked in and Suzie smiled, "They're like my little minions…"

Brady pushed her shoulder and Alice bounced, "Don't we look amazing! We went shopping today and found the boots first and then I saw that red dress and God knows I don't have the curves to pull it off but Suzie looks fab and then I saw the hot pants and matching hats…"

I put my hands on her cheeks and chuckled, "Good god, woman, slow down and breathe…"

She took a big breath and Brady laughed, "And the rest is history…of course, we were a little loopy from margaritas with Janey and Leah…"

Eddie walked outta the bedroom and burst into laughter, "Oh my God, you guys look…completely insane…I love it…"

Suzie smiled, "Thank you, Eddie, you're lookin mighty fine yourself…"

She loved to make him blush.

We decided to walk the two blocks to the club so we all could drink. Alice was the only one legally old enough but she had a brief fling with the bouncer a few months back and they were still on good terms so he'd let us in.

Brady came up and nudged his way in-between me and Eddie, looping our arms with his as he shivered, "My legs are freezing…"

Eddie smirked as we wrapped our arms around him, "Well, Brady, that's what happens when you wear hot pants in December…"

Brady laid on the big brown puppy dog eyes as he pouted, "But my legs look fantastic in these…"

Eddie chuckled and I smiled, "You're bound to bring holiday cheer to some very lucky man, Brady…"

He sighed but didn't say anything. I knew he was down still cuz of Joshua but I really did hope the next guy he fell for was a good one who'd like him back just as much and not play hurtful games with him…or I'd knock that fucker silly too…

The club was hoppin and we all had a real good time dancin with each other. It wasn't a gay club but it was pretty wild and no one seemed to mind me and Eddie and Brady dancin together.

One of my favorite things though, was watchin Eddie and Brady dancin…they were great together cuz they'd both start out kinda tame but as the night wore on and the drunker they got, they'd lose their inhibitions and start dancin dirty with each other.

It was more playful than anything and I can't lie…it was fuckin hot as hell to watch them. I'd never in a million years let another man in our bedroom and Brady was the only guy I trusted that close to Eddie. We grew up together and he loved what me and Eddie had almost as much as we did. So, hell yeah I'd watch them grind out on the dance floor…

A few hours later, we decide to head home and once Ali, Suzie, and Brady are in a cab headin back to their place, me and Eddie start walkin home. His warm gloved hand is in mine and I take a drag from my square, thinkin bout how lucky I am…

It's a beautiful night, the snow is fallin lightly and it's startin to get bitter cold but bein this close to Eddie is more than enough to keep me warm. He smiles over at me with bloodshot forest green eyes, "I can't wait to get you home, Jay…"

I raise an eyebrow and smile back, "Oh yeah? Why?"

I loved drunk Eddie cuz he was a dirty talkin little fucker.

Leanin into my ear he whispers, "Well, the first thing I'm going to do is…"

But then the sound of a hacking cough grab both of our attention as we look ahead to see a figure huddled in the nook of a building. He has a few newspapers over him but it's really, really cold tonight and I don't think anyone could survive a night like this out on the streets.

The very first thought that comes to my mind, for some strange reason, is Edward's biological uncle Anthony we met in Chicago. I sometimes wondered if he was able to make it on those bitter, cold streets.

And then the second thought that came to my mind was my cousin Brandon in Texas. He had been homeless off and on since he was fifteen until he turned eighteen and did almost seven years in prison.

I looked at Edward, who was lookin at the man when he whispered, "Jay, he won't survive the night…"

Noddin my head, I tightened my grip on his hand and sighed, "Yeah, the shelter's a block from here, let's see if we can get him to go…"

We walked up to him and Eddie spoke first, over the man's strained coughs, "Excuse me, sir?"

The man jumped, which didn't help the cough. He was an older guy and it was obvious he had been on the streets awhile. His eyes were wide with fear and I spoke up quickly, "We just wanna help…there's a shelter just a couple blocks from here, we could help make sure you get there…"

He shivered and barely rasped out, "Closed…"

I pull my phone from my pocket and hope like hell my buddy, Dave, is ready to let me cash in on that favor he said he owed me. I met Dave when I was doin' a sociology project on homelessness. He ran the men's shelter just a few blocks from our apartment and he was a real good man. At Thanksgiving he was runnin short on food and help so me and Eddie gave him enough money to get what he needed and we brought our friends to help out.

But it was after one in the mornin so I hoped he didn't cuss me out…

"Jay? What's going on, man? Eddie kick you out and you need a bed for the night?"

I chuckled, "Very funny, Dave. I didn't wake ya up, did I?"

He yawned, "No, I was up watching TV with the old lady…what's up?"

Speaking softly, I turned away from the guy, "Me and Eddie were comin' home from the club and we found this guy coughin' like crazy and sleepin' on the street…"

"I'll put a call in to Bobby, he's working tonight so I'll tell him you're on your way. We'll find him a bed, you just get him there."

See…a good man.

"Thanks, Dave, I owe ya one, man…"

"You don't owe me anything, Jay. You guys be careful."

"We will, man. Thanks."

I stuffed my phone in my pocket and turned back to him and Eddie, "They're gonna let you in so are you okay to walk it?"

Eddie looked at me like I was Superman and the homeless guy nodded as he started scrambling to his feet.

Shruggin off my coat, I hand it to him and he shakes his head but I just smile, "Really, man, it's okay. I always wear a hoodie under my coat when we're walkin cuz it's cold as shit out here…"

He smiled sheepishly through the scruffy beard and rasped out a soft, "Thanks, " as he put it on. I started to take off my gloves at the sight of his worn old hands shakin so bad but Eddie put his hand on my arm and shook his head, "Just the right one, Jay, I'll give him my left…"

I raised an eyebrow but did what he said as the grateful man pulled them on. Then Eddie grabbed my hand and with our fingers twined, he smiled as he put them in his coat pocket, pulling me close, "Come here, Jay."

I smiled back and we started walkin to the shelter. The man was quiet but the coughin got a little better as we walked. Once we got to the shelter, I hit the buzzer and a second later the door opened as Bobby popped out, "Hey Jay, Eddie…come on in, I've got someone setting up an extra cot in the back…"

It was warm inside and we took a minute to shake off the cold. We stood at the front desk as he poured us some coffee from the little pot he had behind it. We all sipped it gratefully as Keith came out into the main area with a small box, "Hey guys."

We said hey and he smiled, "You guys can go ahead and take your gloves and coat back. We've got coats, gloves, hats, boots, whatever he needs. We'll take care of him."

The man nodded gratefully as he handed us our stuff back and Eddie yawned so I smiled, "Well, we're gonna go then, since ya guys got this. Thanks."

We started to leave when the man tried to speak but his voice kept givin out. So he pulled out a wadded piece of paper from his pants pocket and grabbed a pen off the desk as he jotted down a note.

He handed it to me with a warm smile before turning to follow Keith to his cot. Eddie huddled up next to me and smiled, "What's it say?"

I opened it up to see a very messy scrawl…

_Merry Christmas_

_God Bless _

Shoving it into my pocket, I kissed my baby boy's forehead and smiled, "Let's go home, Eddie…"

JOY TO THE WORLD

The next mornin, I wake and have breakfast with Eddie before he has to go to work. I'm still wrackin' my brain for the perfect Christmas gift as I clean up the apartment. When I'm emptyin' my jeans pockets from the night before to throw them in the washer, I find the note from the homeless man and sigh…

_I never even learned his name…_

I set it down and throw in the clothes but then I notice that a picture of Winnie the Pooh is on the other side and I grab it to find that it's a flyer for a show of Winnie the Pooh and Friends Christmas on Ice…

Unable to stop grinning, I grab my coat and take off down to the theater to buy tickets. They have an afternoon show on Christmas Eve and I just gotta take Eddie. Since I ruined his ice skatin fun, the least I could do was take him to see Pooh and friends ice skatin…

As I'm walkin, I pull out my phone and call Em and Jeremiah to see if they'd let us take the boys cuz we always have so much fun with them. Thankfully, they agree and when I get to the little ticket booth, I buy four tickets.

The young woman smiles sweetly at me, "Are you bringing your wife and kids to the show? I noticed the wedding band, beautiful by the way…"

I smile back as I swipe my bank card, "Actually, I'm bringin my husband and nephews…my hubby has a thing for Pooh bear…"

Her cheeks go red but she still grins, "Oh! That's really sweet…my son adores Pooh too. I saw this beautiful leather bound first edition of the Winnie the Pooh books down on 4th and State Street but they were way expensive and I figured they wouldn't be of much use to a three year old…"

That caught my attention, "Really? Eddie would love those. Was it a bookstore or something?"

She grabbed a piece of receipt paper and jotted down a name and address, "Here you go, hopefully he still has them. Hope your husband enjoys them."

I finish payin for the tickets and smile as I stuff the tickets and address in my wallet, "Thank you, ma'am, I'm sure he'll love them. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, hon."

I'm getting pretty familiar with the area and luckily, it don't take me too long to find the place. I damn near have a heart attack when I see the price of the books but this is the perfect gift and I gotta get it for him. It pretty much wipes out all the money I had saved from workin but it was gonna be worth it.

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

The rest of the week passed in a blurred daze of parties and shoppin and getting ready for the big day. I talked Eddie into letting us open our smaller gifts on Christmas Eve and saving the big one we bought each other for Christmas mornin. We were gonna spend Christmas day at the Cullen's house along with everyone else.

So when Christmas Eve finally came, we both sat in front of the tree in our pajama pants and slippers as we started opening up our gifts. He loved all the silly stuff I got him and I loved the silly shit he got me.

The Best of Spongebob on DVD and The Hustler (though I think that was cuz he thinks Paul Newman was hot when he was young), some new clothes cuz my baby knows I like to look good, a stuffed Tigger for when he was workin and I was home alone, and a homemade coupon book full of blow jobs, and massages, role play, and house calls from Doctor Love…

And then I gave him the tickets for Pooh on Ice and he grinned as his cheeks went bright red. I smiled, "Don't worry, Ed, the boys are goin with us so you won't feel weird…"

He threw his arms around me and kissed me silly till it was time to get ready to go.

JJ had stayed over at Em and Rose's place so we swung by there and picked the boys up. After strappin them in their car seats in the back of the Volvo, we took off for the show. The boys were excited and it was a blast watchin JJ dance on Eddie's lap and Em J bounce on mine as he shouted, "Dat Piggy! Uncew Eddie, Uncew Jay, dat Pooh!"

Eventually, me and Eddie started joinin all the kids dancing in the aisles as we sang along to the songs.

By the time the show was over, JJ was asleep on my shoulder and Em J asleep on Eddie's. As we were walkin to the car, a woman accidentally bumped into Eddie and when she turned to apologize, both of their faces looked shocked.

"Edward Cullen?"

He ducked his head and smiled shyly, "Hello, Mrs. Evans. How are you?"

Her face lit up as she stared at him in wonder, "I'm good, Edward. How are you doing? And who are these little guys?"

Edward smiled, "These are our nephews, Emmett Jr. and Jeremiah Jr. This is my husband, Jasper. Jasper, this is Mrs. Evans. She was my group counselor when I was in the hospital."

I really wasn't expecting that.

My mouth dropped open for a minute 'fore I remembered my southern boy manners and held out my free hand, "How do you do, ma'am? It's nice to meet you."

She shook my hand and then grinned at Edward, "This is _the _Jasper Whitlock?"

His cheeks were on fire as he chuckled and I nudged him with a dimpled grin, "Couldn't stop talkin bout me, could ya…"

She laughed, light and happy, "Oh honey, this boy sat there and told everyone that you two were going to be together forever and if they didn't like it they could…"

Trailing off, Edward grinned and spoke softly, "Fuck off."

I could just picture him sittin there, all hugged up in some chair, cheeks flushed, eyes bright green and wild as he told them assholes off.

We were all still chuckling when she looked up at him and sighed, "And here you are…still together. And married. What are you doing in Seattle?"

"Oh, um, we go to school at the University."

Her face just lit up as her eyes became glassy, "That's wonderful, Edward. I can't tell you how happy I am for you…I really needed this today…"

He looked concerned as he asked her why and she went on to explain that the hospital was under funded and over crowded. They didn't have the funding to throw a decent Christmas party this year and there was no way they could afford to get all the children gifts. And charities were just tapped out this year.

Eddie looked up at me and I knew with just one look that we would figure out a way to help. So I just nodded my head and smiled, "You sure you're gonna be able to handle this, babe?"

A gorgeous crooked grin came to his face as he nodded, "Yeah, it's the right thing to do. We've been very fortunate, Jay, but I couldn't imagine spending Christmas away from my family…and most of the kids in there, don't even have family that come to see them. I'll be okay, but I want to do this."

So I smiled at the woman, "We may be able to help. Can you get a list of the kids, just names and ages, maybe something specific they might like, if you know it? We'll need it fast, it's Christmas Eve so the stores will be closin soon…"

And then the woman just burst into tears as she threw her arms around our neck, "You boys are just angels…you have no idea what this will mean to the children…"

But I think we kinda did.

Some things are important and some aren't. Children are important. All children. It's our job, as the grown ups to make sure they got what they need and to make sure they get to stay kids as long as they can.

So she emailed Eddie the list and we made a few calls to Alice and the Cullen's. And by the end of the night, every one of our friends had a stack of newly wrapped Christmas presents set aside for the party at the hospital the next day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BABY

The next mornin, Eddie wakes me up to soft kisses as he whispers, "Merry Christmas, Love…"

Before I even open my eyes, I grab his ass and pull him on top of me as he giggles. Then I pucker my lips against his and grin, "Merry Christmas, baby boy…"

It's early but there's still a lot to do this mornin before we get ready for the party later on. But first things first, he makes me a cup of coffee while I fix his tea and then we settle down on the floor in front of the tree.

We exchange our last gifts and giggle like idiots as we tear open the wrapper. And I lose all the air in my lungs when I see a Les Paul custom guitar. It was made in '92, the year I was born and it has a mahogany back and carved maple top, ebony and pearl inlays, and all gold hardware.

He smiles, "Is that the right kind?"

Very carefully, I set it aside and pounce on him, givin him lots and lots of kisses cuz it's the most kickass guitar ever and mine is so old and worn down.

Then I settle off him so he can finish opening his gift. His face lights up as he starts pullin out the leather bound antique books, "Oh my God, Jay, these are beautiful…"

I smile as I strum my guitar, "Wish we had more time to play with our toys 'fore we had to leave…"

He chuckles as he packs his books back up, "Well, I'm taking these to show Brady, he'll love them. And maybe I can read one to the boys…"

Followin his lead, I pack up my guitar in it's case and smile, "Well, I'm takin my guitar too so I can show it off…"

.

.

.

A couple hours later, we're at the Cullen's house sittin around one of the huge trees, Christmas paper and boxes and toys everywhere. Rosalie, Alice, and Suzie are comparing their clothes and shoes and handbags while Brady lays on the floor with JJ, playing with the new Batmobile he got. He doesn't wear Suzie's shirts much anymore cuz he said he's tryin to dress more 'normal' so he'll blend in better at school…but he loves the boots and won't give them up.

Em J is cuddled in Edward's lap with his new stuffed Piglet while Ed reads him one of his Winnie the Pooh books. Esme and Jeremiah are in the kitchen while Peter tells Emmett stories of him bear huntin as a kid with his Uncle.

I'm standin on the patio, smoking a cigarette and lookin in at my family and I have to take a breath to keep myself grounded. This is all I ever wanted.

I smile as I see Carlisle throwin on his coat and steppin outside with me.

Reachin out my cigarettes, I laugh as he take ones, "What are you gonna do when she catches you?"

He just smirks as I light it up for him, "Blame it on you."

Then he laughs and smiles, "So, did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?"

Nodding my head, I sigh, "Yep. Couldn't be better. I was an awfully good boy this year."

Chuckling, he nods his head, "You were pretty good this year."

"What about you, Daddy C? You get everythin you wanted?"

Looking in through the glass at his family, he smiles warmly, "Yep. This is everything I ever wanted. A family. Toys all over the place and happy children…it couldn't be better. We're very blessed."

Carlisle and I were a lot alike in some ways. Family was real important to us. And all I could do was hope that I would be as good a man as he was someday.

I smiled, "Yeah, we are."

He sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose, "People sometimes forget how lucky they are to have their children and their family…it's tragic…"

Furrowin my brows, I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze, "You okay, Carlisle?"

His hazel eyes open as he sighs, "I lost a child in surgery this morning. The mother was so distraught over her financial situation that she shot her son and then herself. He was six years old…some things are important…and some things are not."

My heart drops as I feel the pain in his words, "I'm so sorry…"

Giving me a sad smile, he speaks, "Being a child psychologist is going to be very rewarding at times, but it will also break your heart because you can't save them all, son…but we have to try. That's all you can do…try your very best and hope that it will work out. Even when it doesn't, you must never stop trying."

Carlisle was the strongest man I knew. He carried his family and the weight of the world on his shoulders but that just made the impact of each step that much stronger. If all men were like him, the world would be a good place but he was right, all we could do was keep tryin…

We walked back in to our family and just chuckled as Em J held up a hot wheel and told his mommy, "Dat _no _nummy…"

She smiled, "That's right, baby, that's not a nummy…"

JJ came runnin up to Carlisle holdin up his Batman, "Look papaw, Uncle Beady put new boots on him! They match the Batmobile…"

Carlisle scooped him up to admire Batman's new boots when Esme hollered out, "Time to eat…"

We all made our way to the dining room. Once we were seated, Carlisle smiled, "Peter, would you like to say the blessing?"

His wrinkled cheeks turned pink but he nodded and we all bowed our heads and held hands.

"Heavenly Father, I know that not all of us are believers but one thing we've always believed in, is each other. We thank you for bringin us together and makin us a family. I wish my sweet Charlotte was here to see it…she woulda been so proud. But every spring when the boys work hard at makin her garden bloom again, I know that she's always been here, watchin over us...she lives in our hearts just as we all live in each other's and that's the way to eternal life…through the people we love and that love us back…my heart is fuller than I ever thought it could be and I wanna thank you for that…bless those who don't have what we have…Amen."

Carlisle held up his wine glass and smiled, "To Charlotte…"

We all raised our glasses and toasted to a damn good woman that helped save my life. I would be forever grateful.

Then Em J raised his chubby little hand with a dinner roll and offered it to Peter, "Nummy, papaw gwape?"

He couldn't say great grandpa and somehow it became papaw grape.

JJ laughed, "It's gweat papaw, he's not a gwape, Em J…"

Em J shook his head and pointed to Peter, "Dat _no _nummy…"

Peter picked him up and took a nibble of his dinner roll, "Mmm, now that's a nummy, my boy…"

And Edward squeezed my hand underneath the table and smiled as he whispered, "I love you, Jay."

I squeezed his hand back, "I love you too, Eddie."

After an incredible dinner, I had to undo the button on my jeans as we all helped clean up before headin out to the hospital.

Everyone piled up, except for Carlisle and Esme. They had contributed a ton of time yesterday shoppin and they really needed a night to just relax, the two of them.

The rest of us headed out and a few hours later, the hospital rec room was decorated top to bottom and there was a present for every child. Except when I was doin a head count, I counted an extra one. Quickly I found Mrs. Evans and she explained that they had just gotten another child this mornin. A little girl, six years old that lost her family in a house fire two months ago and hadn't spoken since.

Edward was sitting on the floor with a group of kids around him as he read his Winnie the Pooh book and Brady acted out the scenes with the kids as they laughed and laughed.

But I looked around the room and found her. She was sittin on a windowsill, holdin onto her knees tight against her chest as she stared outside at the snow fallin. I took a deep breath and walked over.

She turned to look at me and the right side of her face was scarred from the fire but all I could see were big green eyes that weren't afraid, just sad.

So I leaned against the wall and smiled, "Hey there, baby girl. My name's Jasper…but you can call me Jay. What's your name?"

She just sighed deeply, those brown curls fallin in front of her eyes.

Squatting down, I look up into her eyes and whisper, "It's okay to be sad, darlin. Everybody gets sad sometimes, even grown ups…and you don't have to talk if ya don't want too…"

I grin, wide and dimpled with a wink, "Cuz I can talk enough for the both of us…"

And then she giggled but quickly caught herself as those big green eyes went wide and I smiled, "It's okay to be sad, honey, but it's okay to be happy too. I know it's hard but you have to keep tryin and then one day, you won't have to try and it won't be so hard. I know you miss your mommy and daddy, huh?"

Looking down, she nodded her little head and I ducked down to look at her, "Why don't you tell me about them? Were they funny?"

She looked away to outside the window again but I was patient and a minute later a small smile came to her face as she whispered, "Daddy called me his little monkey…he'd act all silly like a big ole gorilla and mommy would laugh and say she was gonna call the zoo…"

I chuckled and sat down on the floor to look up at her, "They sound funny…"

Little by little, she opened up and talked and I just listened in complete awe that she was actually speakin to me…and smiling.

My heart was breaking on the inside cuz I knew we didn't have an extra gift for her. I'd have to think of something and I smiled, "So, Santa will be here later after dinner…did you write him a letter to tell him what you wanted?"

She shook her head and sighed, "I don't believe in Santa. Mommy always told me that the Christmas Angels took care of us on Christmas. I wonder what kinda angels mommy and daddy are now…"

Eddie walked over and ran his hand through my hair, "Hey Angel, they're about to serve dinner…"

I smiled, "We'll be right there…"

He smiled beautifully before one of the other kids dragged him away. And her eyes were wide as she threw her arms around my neck and whispered, "I knew you were a Christmas angel…I know you can't bring my mommy and daddy back but my old dolly, Beth, was burned up too and I really miss her. I used to sleep with her at night and now I'm all alone…can you get me a new dolly?"

I didn't know how I was gonna do it but I hugged her back and smiled, "Yeah, baby girl, I can handle that…"

We walked together to the cafeteria and I sat her down with a few girls her age and bent down to talk to her, "Why don't you try to make some friends and I'm gonna go take care of a few things but I'll be back soon, okay?"

She smiled and nodded as she started eating. I found Edward and pulled him to the side to explain the situation. He ran a hand through his unruly hair, "Jay, it's 7 o'clock on Christmas night, where are you going to find a doll?"

I shook my head and sighed, "I don't know, Ed, but I gotta try. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

He nodded and gave me a hug, "Okay, Jay. Be careful…"

Half an hour and two cigarettes later, I'm cursin as I go by blackened store after blackened store and I don't know how the hell I'm gonna find this little girl a doll. I'm about to give up when I'm sitting at a stop sign and I see a man on the side of the street packing boxes into his trunk and lo and behold, there's a big doll sticking out of the top of a bag.

I hope he doesn't think I'm crazy but I'm a man on a mission. I pull the Volvo over and hop out. It's a young guy, about my age and I smile as I walk up, "Hey man, I know this is gonna sound crazy but I really, really need a doll for this little girl that's in the hospital. Can I buy that one from you?"

He raises an eyebrow, "It's for my little sister but she'd probably prefer money anyway…I'll give it to you for $100 bucks…"

_Asshole…_

But I'm desperate so I pull out my wallet to only find $60 bucks cash and I sigh, "It's all I got, man, come on, it's Christmas…"

He rolls his eyes and shuts the trunk, "Screw that, I paid over $50 for it and I'm not coming up off of it for less than double…"

I wanna kick his ass but don't really have enough time so I try again, "Please, man, she's six years old and she lost her whole family in a fire…have a fuckin heart…"

He just walked away and looked ahead at my car, "Not my problem, man…what about that guitar sticking up in the back…what kind is that, I might be willing to trade…"

And I'm seethin at this jerk and I'm thinking there's no way I'm tradin my guitar that Eddie got me to this asshole but then my phone chirps and I check to see a text from Eddie…

_Any luck? I know you're an angel but if you find a doll it will be a Christmas miracle, lol. We're opening presents in thirty…good luck my wonderful, beautiful husband…I love you…forever and always…_

I shove my phone into my pocket and pinch the bridge of my nose, a habit I picked up from him.

_God, I hope you still love me after this Eddie…_

Twenty five minutes later, I'm runnin in with the dolly in the festive Christmas bag and I expect to see Edward lookin at me like I'm a superhero but instead his eyes are wide as he stops me, "Jay, I need to tell you something…"

I pant out, "I need to tell you somethin too, Eddie…"

He shakes his head, "Me first…oh, God, please don't be mad, Jay but I didn't know what to do…"

Sitting down the bag, I pull him in my arms and whisper, "Shh, babe…calm down, tell me what's wrong, you know I'm not gonna be mad at you, Eddie…"

His eyes were wide and full of tears as he whispered, "They just got another kid in a few minutes ago…a little boy, he's seven…he was found in a house with his parents murdered…he had been there alone for days…he was carrying a Pooh bear and we didn't have any extra gifts for him…oh, God, I'm so sorry, Jay…I gave him my books…"

And I just couldn't help it as I started laughing. He sniffled up at me, "What's so funny, Jay? You aren't mad?"

I shake my head as I hold up the doll, "I traded my guitar with some asshole for this doll…you mad?"

Now he's laughing as he throws his arms around me and we hold each other tight. Later that night, the kids are in the rec room and I see the little girl brushing her dolly's hair and I walk over and sit next to her.

She smiles up at me, "Mommy said that Christmas angels are real and that was true. Before the fireman dragged me away, she said that I'd be okay and I guess that was true to. Merry Christmas, angel…will you tell my mommy and daddy that I love them and that I'll be okay?"

I run my hand over those soft bouncy curls and smile, "I will. Merry Christmas…you never did tell me your name, by the way?"

And she looks back to her dolly as she continues brushing her hair, "Hope…"

The air leaves my lungs and goose bumps break out for some reason as I smile, "That's a really beautiful name…"

As we're getting ready, Mrs. Evans comes up and gives us both hugs and beams at me, "Edward tells me you're going to be a child psychologist…"

I smile, "I'm gonna try, ma'am…"

She grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze, "Well, after what you did with Hope, I'd be grateful if you'd consider spending your internship with us, though I know you've still got awhile…"

I really feel in my heart like this is something I could do and would be good at. So I squeeze her hand back and smile, "I will. Thank you, ma'am."

And now Eddie's really lookin at me like I'm Superman.

.

.

.

Later that night, Eddie and I are down to our pajama pants and slippers, sittin on the floor in front of the Christmas tree and sippin hot chocolate as we muse about the night. He goes to the kitchen and gets a refill while I grab my old worn guitar and start strumming. When he walks back in, he's carrying a small present as he smiles, "I wrote this awhile ago and it's really stupid…I thought it was too silly to give to you but due to the circumstances…"

My heart is leapin as I rip open the paper to see a stack of paper with a title page that read:

**The Cock That Saved the World**

**A short story**

**By Edward Anthony Cullen-Whitlock**

**I love you, Jay**

**Merry Christmas**

He smiled shyly, "I wrote it after we watched Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland…I really liked those 'cause they were funny and I know you like Zombie movies…"

I pulled him close for a kiss and then I read it. It was the most hilarious thing I ever read. There was a zombie apocalypse and the only cure was my semen. So, I uttered the phrase, 'Suck my cock if you want to live…' and I saved the world with my dick. How much more awesome could you get than that.

Chuckling, I smile, "This is the best gift ever, Edward. I'll cherish this forever, long after you're a world famous writer cuz seriously baby boy, I think this is your true callin…it's so good, Ed…"

Then I grab my guitar while my cheeks heat up, "I, uh…wrote a song for you awhile back too but thought it was too silly to give you as a gift…hope you like it…"

And he laughed as I sang about Pooh and light sabers and foreign cocks…

When I finally put down my guitar, we were both rollin and he grabbed me, pullin me on top of him as he laid back on the floor in front of the shiny lights of the Christmas tree.

"That was the best gift I've ever gotten, Jay. Thank you. Merry Christmas, Love…"

I kiss his sweet lips and trail my hand down his toned stomach until it wraps around his hardening cock and I whisper, "Feliz Navidad, Pedro…"

We make love for hours until he's passed out beneath me and I'm too weak to move. So I grab a throw pillow from the couch and put it under my head as he curls up on my chest and I whisper, "Sweet dreams, baby boy. Love you…"

And I'm out like a light, on the best Christmas ever…

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


End file.
